Chapter
Twenty-Eight
Nexus
Dried wood planks barely
covered the broken windows of the deserted building. Brilliant sunlight streamed in through the
holes and cracks, forming strands of light in the dank room. To the small shivering body that huddled
against the window, the sunbeams were her only amnesty and she hovered as close
to them as she could. The parts of her
body that were lucky enough to be warmed from the early morning
But it was a false sense of
hope and she knew that. The deep racking
sobs that quietly emitted from her mouth and her tear-streaked pale face showed
her true emotions; confusion, fear and helplessness. She had been prepared to
give herself to Glory. She was not
prepared to die at the hands of someone who she thought was a friend.
As her gaze skirted up to
his her blood ran cold. He was no longer her friend and by his actions he
didn’t even appear to be sane. His steadfast yellow eyes never once left her
face as he talked to himself. At times he was loud. Shouting and screaming at
someone that wasn’t there. Other times he was quiet yet his underlying madness
could not be missed.
She didn’t know what
happened to make him so crazed. Being
the sister of a vampire slayer she had seen many vampires in her short life,
but she had never seen any of them as he was now. It scared her and she silently wept for her
sister.
Riley squirmed on his chair,
his hands restlessly pulling at each other as he watched her. He couldn’t look
away. She looked so tempting, sitting there on the floor, her body shivering
with fear, her face wet with tears, and the look of the unknown in her eyes.
The beautiful image that she
made was enticing him greatly to forego his plan and drink her dry. He instinctively knew that her blood would be
that much sweeter laced with fear and he so wanted to taste it. But he held
back. She was not his ultimate goal. His ultimate goal was with her savior. The
one person that he knew would come to rescue her.
“What…what happened to you
Riley?” she quietly asked, her voice hitching as her
body heaved with a deep sob.
He didn’t answer her right
away and she scrambled back further against the window feeling his eyes glued
to her throat.
Seeing her move snapped him of
out his blood-lust haze. Wild eyes looked up into her face and a sickening
laugh spilled from his lips as he answered her. “What happened to me? You make it sound so bad Dawn, but it’s not.
It’s all good.”
“But…but you’re a…”
“A
vampire? Yes I know.”
He threw his hands up to the
air, his face smiling brightly around a mouthful of fangs. “Isn’t it
wonderful? Now I can have it all! Now I
can have what He thought He was only able to have.”
She looked at him
questioningly. “I…I don’t understand.”
His gaze locked onto hers
once more. “Of course you don’t because you are just a child.” His head tilted
to the left as he pondered her. “Or are you?”
Her eyes widened as
understanding sunk in. He knew what she
was, which meant that he was working for Glory. She wondered if it was Glory
that had him turned, maybe as a way to get closer to the Slayer, a way to get
the Key. It made sense as to why he didn’t kill her. He was waiting for the sun
to set.
She felt like she had been
there for hours but she knew that time had not passed that quickly. The sun
would be shining for many more hours to come. And the knowledge that she would
have to sit there and count down those hours by the way the suns rays moved on
the floor was excruciating. She would
much rather just get it over and done with than sit here and question her
decision. The idea of dying was not that scary when you knew it would happen
immediately. Waiting for death to
arrive, contemplating the very notion that she would no longer see the ones she
loved was much worse. And she wished that she had never left the mansion.
Although she was frightened
she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
Even though she never liked the fact that he was dating Buffy she had
still liked him as a person. He had always been kind to her, sometimes even
sticking up for her on those occasions when Buffy was mean to her. It was that inconsistency that made her
emotions so twisted. She knew what he
was now but she thought that maybe there was some resemblance of the person he
used to be inside of him, a part that she could try to appeal to.
“Riley, I know that you’re
going to give me to Glory but you don’t have to. I was on my way to see
her. It’s daytime now and you can’t go.
Just let me go and I’ll go right to her, I swear!” She pleaded with him.
Riley shook his head, madly
laughing at her. “Dawnie you are so naïve.”
He stood up and walked
towards her, bending down he grabbed her chin forcing her to look right at him
when she tried to turn away.
“I don’t give a shit about
Glory and her stupid plans. I want only one thing.”
“Wh…what’s that?”
“Buffy.” He snarled. “I want
my girl back Dawn and you’re going to help me get her.”
***************
“What do you mean she’s gone?”
Buffy screamed at Spike as she got dressed not caring that she was standing in
front of him in nothing but her underwear and a tank top. Concerned rage bubbled inside of her as she
hurriedly dressed. She could think of only one thing… killing anything or
anyone that got in her way of finding her sister.
“I’m saying that I poked my
head in to make sure that she was okay and she’s not there.”
“Did you search the rest of
the house?” Angel asked as he pulled on his socks and shirt.
“Yes you poof, I’m not a
bleeding idiot.”
Angel growled at him and
Spike growled back. Buffy ignored them as she frantically ran out of the room
and right into Cordelia who had just come down the steps.
“Ooof.
Jesus what’s the rush Buffy? And what’s all the screaming about?”
“Dawn’s missing.”
She ran to the study and
threw open the door. The echoing boom of the door slamming against the wall
jerked Wesley up from the couch where he'd been napping. "Good God!" he exclaimed as he
looked towards the source of the noise.
Giles looked up from the
book he was reading to see Buffy standing in the threshold of the room looking
extremely unstable. Her eyes were wild
and he peered closer to look at their color. They were the darkest green he had
ever seen, almost black, almost…empty…soulless, and it rattled him to his core.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
She didn’t answer; she just
took a quick look inside the room then ran back out.
Giles and Wesley looked at
each other then quickly followed her out the door. Chaos greeted them out in
the living room.
“This is your fault!”
“My
fault? How the bloody hell is this my
fault?”
“Because
you were supposed to be watching her!”
“ME! She’s your bleeding
sister Blondie, not mine!”
Her face turned red with rage
and her lip curled up as she reacted with all the frustration she was feeling.
Lashing out with no thought as to what she was doing. She socked him in the
face and wide eyes watched as Spike went airborne.
Appearing more like a rag
doll than anything else, his body lifted off the ground about five feet and
then he flew back across the room. He landed on the stone floor sliding back as
if he were on ice and heading straight for the unlocked garden patio doors.
“Good Lord!” Wesley
incredulity said, amazed at the show of Buffy’s strength.
Giles on the other hand was
not ignorant to Buffy’s augmented strength over the last year. It was evident
in everything about her, the way she moved, the way she spoke, and more
noticeably, how fast she ran down and disposed of her victims. Nevertheless
this was entirely different. This show of strength was almost inhuman and he
was just as surprised by it as Wesley was.
He looked back at her and
his eyes instantly crinkled with concern.
He thought she would get better now that Angel had returned. He hadn’t
been worried when Angel asked the question just a little while ago. But now he
wasn’t so sure. She was in a fighting stance, her fists raised and a smirk of
evil joviality on her face as she watched Spike sliding toward imminent
death. Something was happening to her
and it appeared that it was only getting worse.
Cordelia screamed as she ran
toward Spike and grabbed his feet. She pulled him back just as his head hit the
door and it swung open. She was fast but
she wasn’t fast enough as the suns deadly rays scorched the top his hair. He
jumped up and they patted his head as smoke billowed off his blonde locks. His
face shifted, he threw off Cordelia, and snarling furiously walked with a
purposeful stride toward Buffy.
He was met by the strong
hand of his Grandsire slamming into his chest halting his momentum and sending
him back a step. His snarls became louder and more tenacious as stormy yellow
eyes met hellfire eyes. His fists clenched at his sides as he stepped up to
Angelus, his hostile anger driving him forward.
“Stop!”
Angelus roared as he held Spike back. It wasn’t easy; he could feel his
unconstrained fury and the tension in his chest as he pushed forward. The
younger demon was pissed and rightfully so. His anger made him stronger but he
still wasn’t stronger than him.
Spike stood there snarling,
growling, making the most inhuman sounds that any of them had ever heard, which
was saying a lot considering they had seen and heard much. There was no doubt that he was in a very
volatile state and they held their breath to see what would happen.
Spike knew something was
different the second he walked into the bedroom. He felt the hum that shrouded the entire
room, the tingling sensation of two beings that had met and joined as one. It
had vibrated through him as well but he had been so worried about Dawn that he
disregarded it. Now after that little show of vigor from the Slayer he knew
what he sensed to be real and he was filled with jealous resentment.
He didn’t say anything to
Angelus some things were better left unsaid before humans. There were some
things, darker things that humans were ignorant about when it came to Vampires
– even Watchers. There was no point in explaining something they would not and
could not agree with or understand. So
he just stared back at Angelus, his eyes telling the older demon that he knew
what was going on.
“Let him go!” Buffy snapped
as she took a step closer and everyone else took a step back.
The woman that stood before
them was not the same person she was only a few hours ago. They each recognized the difference in
her. Her aura screamed violence. Her
eyes were as black as night. The sound of her voice held not one inch of
humanity in it. In fact, it rivaled Spike’s own feral voice and sounds.
“Buffy? What the hell
happened to you?’
Cordy asked the question
that Wesley and Giles could not. But she didn’t answer she just stared straight
at Spike, practically foaming at the mouth to inflict more damage to the demon
she illogically held accountable for her missing sister.
Angelus ignored everyone in
the room except his immediate family.
His hand stayed locked against Spike’s chest as his gaze swung over his
shoulder and to his mate that stood behind them.
“ENOUGH!
The sound of his blustering
bellow broke through Buffy the way it was intended to do. Her gaze instantly
swung to his and she stared deep into his eyes, obediently giving him her full
attention.
“This is not Spike’s fault.”
To Giles’ amazement she growled
back at him.
“Now sit down.” His booming
voice reverberated off the stone walls and the room was tense as they waited to
see what she would do.
Wesley thought for sure she
would attack Angel and he took another step back wanting to get as far away
from her as possible.
Cordelia and Giles didn’t
share Wesley’s fear. They knew that no matter how unhinged Buffy was she would
not attack the love of her life. They did however expect her to put up some
sort of fight. They were amazed when she didn’t and instead did exactly what
she was told, and without another word, as she turned and sat down on the
couch.
Pleased with her compliance,
Angelus turned back to Spike whose eyes never left Buffy’s form.
“Spike!” he shouted but he
got no response.
“William!” That got his
attention and his eyes swung back to Angelus’.
He jerked his head to the
left, clearly telling him to back off and take his own seat. Spike reluctantly
did as he was told and sat down on the chair by the fireplace. Buffy’s feral
growls followed him as he walked and when he sat down, their eyes locked once
again.
Cordelia looked at everyone
and voiced her confusion, loudly. “Okay, what the hell just happened here
Angel? She screeched.
After a few silent seconds, he
turned around his face human once again.
He ignored his friend’s question and instead addressed everyone in the
room surprising them by the level calamity of his voice.
“We have to find Dawn.
Cordy, take Wes and search Sunnydale.”
He saw her mouth move ready
to protest but he beat her to the punch. “Please Cordy, just go and look
everywhere you can think of.”
Her lips pursed she didn’t
like being dismissed but she did what he asked.
“Come on Wes.”
“Angel…”
“Please Wes not now. Just go
with Cordy and call if you find her.”
Wesley nodded at him then
turned and left with Cordelia.
He watched as they closed
the door biding himself time. He knew what awaited him when he turned around.
One very curious Watcher who he knew would not yield until he had answers.
He took an unneeded breath
and turned around to see Giles’ unwavering gaze not on him but on his Slayer,
who sat on the couch her eyes as black as night and still staring at Spike.
Angel closed his eyes and
counted to ten in an effort to still his own inner turmoil, which was boiling.
Between his own anxiety at hearing that Dawn was not on the premises, his
connection with Spike, and his now ever-growing bond with Buffy he himself felt
close to the edge. He had to get his own emotions under control before anything
else.
When he felt somewhat
calmer, he opened his eyes and looked at Buffy. She was his first concern. Dawn
had to be found and fast. Since the sun stopped him and Spike from going with
her - though at the moment sending Spike would probably not be his best idea -
she had to go alone. He could not send her out there the way she was. He could
feel the darkness swelling inside of her, she was way too explosive. Which
meant one thing, the training that he had hoped to start privately would have
to begin now and before Giles. He had no choice.
He walked over to her and
dropped to his knees. He took her hands in his, holding them tightly his
fingers lightly rubbing her skin. She immediately looked at him and they
quietly stared into each other’s eyes. He gave her a few moments to feel his
serenity, to soak it in as he pushed it forward to her. He smiled, his hand rising and petting her
head as her face softened. Her eyes lightened back to their beautiful natural
green and slowly brimmed with unshed tears.
“She’s gone Angel. I failed
her.” Her voice was soft and sad, and he
held his own sadness back, not wanting her to feel any worse than she did in
that moment.
He shook his head, his hand
cupping her cheek. She nuzzled against his palm, her eyes closing as she
allowed herself to be drenched in his soothing presence.
“No Baby you didn’t fail
her. We’ll get her back.”
Giles suddenly stepped
forward quietly interjecting his own thoughts. “Perhaps she went to the
hospital to see Joyce.”
Angel looked at him, “That’s
a good idea. Would she go by herself?”
Giles shrugged, “It’s
possible.”
Angel turned back to Buffy,
who was staring up at Giles with a hopeless look that broke the old man’s
heart.
“It seems anything is
possible these days.” Spike muttered.
Like lightening Buffy’s
demeanor changed. She jumped up from her
seat, her eyes black once more as she looked at him. “You better shut it up
before I shut it for you.” She yelled at him causing Giles to jump back with
shock at her quick change.
Angel stood up and grasped
her arms turning her stiff form toward him. “Buffy look at
me!”
Slowly her head turned and
she looked at him. Her eyes were wide and her gaze was blank. Her actions were mechanical. Responding to his commands the way a mate
should. But she wasn’t really listening to him. She was in her own world, a
slave to the darkness inside her mind.
He felt it. He could practically hear it screaming inside his own head
and he had to pull her out of it.
He shook her gently his voice
rising as he roared, “BUFFY” commanding his mate’s attention and she answered
the call. She snapped out of it, her eyes blinked, and he could see clarity
once more in her gaze.
“Listen to me Buffy not the
voice, okay. Just listen to me and relax.”
Giles stood back and
listened, his eyebrow rising with concern. What voice? What the hell was Angel talking about?
Buffy did as he asked, and
she focused on his voice and not the voice in her head that started screaming
again.
“Good. Now close your eyes
and concentrate on me okay?”
Dazedly her eyes closed and
she focused all of her attention completely on him. His voice was low and deep,
hypnotic…absolute. He compelled her to see and hear only him, and she couldn’t
disobey even if she wanted to.
“Take deep breaths. See the
air enter your lungs, filling them. Feel your lungs as they contract and
expand. Keep doing that, deep breaths.”
He watched as she did what
she was told. Visibly her body slackened
with her growing tranquility and inside he could feel peace settle over
her. He was impressed with how quickly
she found him - though she probably didn’t know she had – but it was just
another testament as to how close they really were. It also reminded him that
he really had to find Whistler.
“Good baby. Now I want you
to look deep inside yourself, deeper than you have ever gone. Do you feel the
low hum?”
“Yes. It’s…getting
louder…vibrating.”
“That’s good, don’t be
afraid of it, it won’t hurt you. I want you to focus on that Buffy, reach for
it. Do you see it? Do you see it shimmering with life?”
“Yes.”
She said it softly but the
peace that she felt was evident in the lilt of her voice. After hearing her
answer a part of him wanted to shout with elation, the other half wanted to
stake himself.
“Good. Now concentrate on
that. See only that. Feel nothing but the vibration running through you.”
Angel’s own eyes closed as
he spoke to her, seeking his own inner drone.
Giles bemusement grew as he
watched their bodies sway together as one unit.
He never saw anything like it before. He had seen their connection in
the past, how it seemed that they could talk to each other with just their
eyes, but this wasn’t like that. This was so much more profound. It was almost as if they were inside of each other. His brow crinkled unhappily, something very
disquieting was going on and he was almost afraid to ask what it was.
“What’s he doing? Putting
her under some sort of thrall?” Giles asked.
“No. It’s much more
disturbing than that Ripper.” Spike said as he watched them from his spot on
the chair.
“What do you mean?”
“Advoco
familiaris.” Spike answered, and Giles turned and looked
at him blankly.
Spike sighed, “Its Latin
for…”
“Yes, yes I know ‘summoning ones
mate’.” Giles irritatingly said and Spike frowned at him.
”Why is that
disturbing? They have a connection. Perhaps she just doesn’t know how to fully
use it.”
Spike snorted, “And I
thought you knew everything.”
Giles turned to him
exasperated, “Spike what are you talking about?”
Spike stood up and crossly
replied. “I’m talking about the fact that technically she shouldn’t be able to
do that.”
“Why?”
“Because Rupert she’s not a
vampire. It seems that someone’s been drinking something they shouldn’t be
drinking.”
Giles’ eyes bulged with
shock as his heart sank to the floor. “Are you telling me that Buffy drank
Angel’s blood?”
Spike shrugged and walked
away, disgusted with what he was seeing. The poof always got the better end of
the stick. “That’s what I’m telling you.”
Angel’s soft voice drew
Giles’ attention back to the couple and he watched them now with even more
interest as trepidation filled him.
“Do you see it growing
stronger?” he asked her.
“Yes.” Her voice was so soft
that Giles barely heard her.
“Good. That’s us baby.
That’s our connection. It’s your lifeline to me. I want you to concentrate on
that. If you do that, you’ll always feel me. I’ll always be with you. Do you
understand?”
“Yes.”
His eyes opened and he looked
up and into the angry eyes of his lover’s Watcher. “Angel, we need to discuss
this.” He sternly said.
Angel’s eyes blackened. “We
will, but not now.”
He looked back down at Buffy
his hand caressing her cheek. “Buffy, open your eyes.”
Her eyes opened and she
looked up at him. Once again they were brilliantly green, clear and astute.
“The voice…it’s gone.” She
said with a note of amazement on her voice.
Angel smiled, “Good. I’ll
explain later okay. Now I want you to go to the hospital with Giles. If you
feel them coming back, if you feel the darkness slipping inside of you, just
look for me. Look for your lifeline and you’ll find me, I’ll help you to
control it. Do you understand?”
She smiled. She felt so close to him, so much a part of
his beloved soul that she knew she could walk into the pits of hell right now
and still feel the sun beaming down on her. “I understand.”
He drew her into his arms
kissing her passionately, giving her all the calm peacefulness that he could
pull out of his own soul. When they
pulled away she smiled and then walked out, leaving Giles standing there…mad.
Angel looked at him, his own
face showing his displeasure. “Giles, please just go with her. We’ll talk about
it later.”
“You can be assured that we
will.” He stormed out slamming the door as he did. He quietly followed Buffy to the car mentally
tallying the books that he wanted to retrieve from his library.
The second Giles closed the
door Angel stormed over to Spike, his fangs gleaming as he punched him the face.
Spike fell back, his own
face changing to the demon. “What the hell was that for?”
“You’ve got a big mouth
Spike. You didn’t have to tell him!”
Spike scoffed, “really, what
the hell was I suppose to tell him you pounce. Jesus Angelus what the hell is
happening between you two? She drank from you? Are you bloody crazy?”
“You don’t understand what’s
going on Spike so you should stay out of it.” He turned and grabbing his jacket
he walked toward the tunnels with Spike close on his heals.
“You know, I’d just love too
but I can’t, can I? You brought me into this mess and
you bloody well are going to start talking!”
Spike was relentless as he
followed Angel out through the tunnels that worked their way underneath
Sunnydale.
He was driving Angel up a
wall. He had to remain calm for Buffy.
It was his inner composure that would keep her darkness at bay. So to shut
Spike up he finally relented and told him what Whistler said, told him what he
knew to be true but had yet to confirm with the other demon.
***********
Buffy pulled back out into
traffic, impatient to be on her way after dropping Giles at his apartment. He'd been unusually quiet until they neared
his building when he'd asked her to stop at his apartment so that he could pick
up some books to continue the research.
She barely acknowledged his request, responding only with a short grunt
as he looked at her while the car rolled to a stop.
Giles was forgotten as she
continued on to the hospital she was completely immersed in her own
thoughts. She knew she should be
thinking about Dawn, but when she did that she got angry, and when she got
angry she couldn’t think, she only reacted. Knowing that she had to keep
herself together she concentrated on Angel.
She thought back to the mansion
and the sound of his voice and the way it spilled over her entire
being…soothing her like a warm blanket. It had been magnetic and she was pulled
to it. It was like she had no choice, no
will of her own, and it frightened her a little.
They had always shared a
connection but it was never this obligatory. Something was happening to her
that she had no control over.
The confusing thing was that
although she found it very scary, almost like she was losing herself, it was
also powerfully exhilarating. She was losing control yet gaining so much more
at the same time and she couldn’t get a handle on it.
She wasn’t a stranger to the
darkness within her. Before Angel came back she had felt the growing shadows
inside of her and she had used it, reveled in it. She had even grown accustomed to it. It
offered a weird sense of stability and comfort.
But this was different; this didn’t feel like her darkness, it felt like
his.
It was like he was inside of
her, all the time. She could feel him so deeply that she knew if she closed her
eyes she would see him and what he was doing.
Her foot stepped on the
brake and the car rolled to a stop at a red light. Her eyes closed and she took deep breaths
focusing on him. As she looked deep
inside of herself like he showed her, silence filled her ears. Everything
around her seemed to disappear the further she went. And the closer she got to
the luminosity inside the louder the hum became and the warmer she grew. She could feel herself floating away, feel
her own emotions dissipate as she zoned in on him and felt exactly what he was
feeling. It excited her and she could
feel her heart racing as she concentrated harder needing to get closer to him.
Feeling as if she had
reached the end, a black veil lifted and the dark smoke that had obscured her
vision cleared. From out of the darkness and into the light, her head tilted to
the side and she focused her gaze on the dark forms that moved briskly through
the sewers.
There were two forms and
each one she felt a connection too, though one was not as potent as the
other. She knew it was Spike. She felt it before in the mansion. It was what freaked her out and made her
attack him. She had felt him inside of
her. She had felt like she was connected
to him in some strange way and it scared the crap out of her. It was no
different now, she could feel him inside:
he was pissed off and his anger was directed at Angel.
She moved away from him,
mentally pushing past him and his raging emotions and moving on to fully
concentrate on Angel. The more she focused, the more Spike and his emotions
zoned out, and the clearer she could see and feel Angel.
She could just make out his
coat flapping behind him as he took each agitated stride. She took a deep
breath and a smile pursed her lips, she could actually smell his husky male
scent and as it always did before it soothed her now and made her feel
safe. She reached out for him but felt
nothing but air. She scowled with the
lack of contact and then her scowl deepened as a wave of aggravation rolled
though her. It surprised her at first
until she released it was what he was feeling, what the demon was feeling. They
were annoyed, she snorted, of course they would be Spike was with them.
The sound of a horn blaring
filled her ears and her eyes snapped opened. The light was green. Cursing the impatient jerk behind her she
stepped on the gas and continued driving to the hospital.
She could still feel
him. It was a low hum in the center of
her being. It assured her that he was
still with her. Or rather that they were still with her. That was truly
amazing. The fact that she felt both the
soul and the demon was energizing and felt…normal. In fact the entire situation just felt right
to her. The only thing that she found an
oddity was how easily she was accepting it.
She didn’t need Angel to
tell her what was going on. She knew the
moment she tasted his blood on her lips that they were fully connected. She had hungered for it. She had felt the
darkness inside of her drawing her to taste him, seducing her with the
unconscious knowledge that once she did he would never leave her again. It was what she always wanted and now she was
finally getting it. But as usual nothing in her life was easy and once again
she was being torn by two very different emotions.
If Angel asked her now what
the darkness felt like she would be able to answer him easily. The Slayer was fighting the deep intimacy
with the Demon that she now felt in him.
It was like an internal fight was going on inside of her. It actually wasn’t a new feeling she had
always felt a small, quiet rebellion inside her when it came to her feelings
for Angel. But it was easy to control
because she never felt the demon inside of her.
Now it was as if there were four people inside of her all the time. Two
that melded into each other with simplicity and ease, the other two restlessly
fought each other. It was that friction, the inability to succumb to bonding
with their natural enemy that made the darkness grow inside of her.
It all made sense to her
now. It was as clear as the nose on her
face and she felt confident that the two powerful beings would come to
terms…eventually. She knew that the more
time she spent with Angel and the more time she spent honing her skills, the
more integrated they would become. The darkness would lessen and she would gain
control. Knowing that comforted her and
made her feel even stronger and more relaxed.
There was nothing wrong with her that time would not mend. She just had to keep it together until then.
The bright sign of the
hospital caught her attention as she absentmindedly drove by the entrance so
lost in her thoughts. She cursed under
her breath, checked her rear view mirror then made a U-Turn.
Making the sharp left into
the hospital and just barely missing an oncoming car, her heart sped up as she
thought about finding Dawn. She prayed to God that she would find her sitting
at their mother’s bedside and holding her hand.
It didn’t take her long to
find a parking spot. She parked the car, turned off the engine and then jumped
out, her quick strides carrying her inside the hospital.
She briskly walked down the
hallway and headed for her mom’s room, ignoring the way her stomach rolled in
protest at the smell of cleaning fluids and sickness. God she hated hospitals.
Her eyes scanned the hallway
and the rooms that were open as she walked, looking for any sign of Dawn. With every step she took and she didn’t see
her she could feel her fear rising. But
that fear was held at bay and she silently thanked the low hum in her soul that
kept her grounded. She was still deathly
afraid of not finding Dawn and failing in her duties. It boiled just below the surface, but the
sense of peace and love was stronger and it overpowered the fear. It enabled
her to stay in control.
She rounded the corner to
get to her mom’s room. Her eyes crinkling as she passed the waiting room and
saw no sign of her. As she neared the door
to her mom’s room she saw the doctor that she had assaulted the night before.
She came to a stop in front of him. She
had no choice because he blocked her entrance to the room, and she looked back
at him with as little patience as she did before.
“Ms. Summers?”
“What?” She barked at him
then tried to walk around him but he wouldn’t move and he continued to block
her entrance.
“We’ve been trying to reach
you.”
Feeling the itch of anxiety
run through her she took a deep breath trying to relax.
“I’m sorry, I haven’t been
home. Did you call my cell phone?”
“Yes
but there was no answer. I called the alternate number.” Her foot began to tap impatiently as she
watched him look down and shuffle through the folder he was holding.
“A…Miss.
Chase’s cell phone.”
“Miss
Chase’s?” She asked questioningly, she didn’t remember
giving them Cordy’s cell phone number, she didn’t even know it.
“Yes, someone named Angel
gave it to the nurse in case of an emergency.”
“Oh. I…”
Before she could finish her
sentence her cell phone rang. Quickly digging it out of her back pocket she
looked at the number. It wasn’t familiar so she didn’t answer it.
Stuffing it back into her
pocket she looked back at the doctor. “Look I don’t mean to be rude or anything
but have you seen my sister? Teenager, long brown hair?”
Her head tilted to the right
and around the doctor trying to see through the window of the door to her mom’s
room. But once again the doctor moved blocking her vision. She sighed, her patience growing thin and her
gaze said that as she looked up at him.
“No you are the first
visitor to arrive today. Ms. Summers, we need to talk.”
“How’s my mom, is she
awake?”
Once again she tried to see inside
the room only to be blocked again. Her eyes crossed as she looked at him, her
anger rising every second the doctor got in her view.
“That’s why we tried to
reach you. I’m afraid that there were some complications during the night.”
Her heart dropped to her
stomach. “Complications? What…what do you
mean…complications?”
“I’m sorry Ms. Summers but
your mother passed away last night.”
She stared up at him
blankly. “What? What are you talking about?”
Once again her neck craned
to the right trying to see inside the room.
“No. She was fine last night, you said she was okay. That the surgery
went well.”
“Yes it did. But removing
tumors is not always a cut and dried situation. There was some bleeding and we
were not able to stop it. I’m sorry.”
She looked at him vacantly
as she took a step back, her cell phone ringing once more. But she didn’t feel the vibrating call and
the low hum that had kept her centered vanished.
She felt nothing.
She was numb.
This couldn’t be happening
to her.
Her mother couldn’t be
dead.
No, he was lying to her, he
had to be.
Her eyes turned black. Her
hand shot out and grabbed the poor unsuspecting doctor by the throat
effortlessly throwing him up against the wall.
“WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME?” She
screamed at him.
His feet dangled in mid air,
his hands gripped hers, and his eyes bulged from the lack of oxygen as he tried
to answer her. “Ms. Summ…ers, please…I swear…I’m…not…lying. See for…yourself.”
Suddenly she released him
and he fell to the floor with a thud. Her face showed no emotion as she walked
over him and kicked in the door to her mother’s room. She stepped inside and the door swung
shut…she stood alone in an empty room.
She looked at the bed…it was
empty.
She looked all around the
room…all of her mother’s things were gone.
Walking over to the closet
she threw open the door…it was empty.
She took a step back her
hand rising to her mouth, tears spilling down her cheeks, confusion and pain
quickly and incurably entering her soul.
She had been right there in
that bed last night. She had talked to her briefly. She said she felt fine. She
said that she loved them both before sleep overcame her. Then both she and Dawn had left the room with
a sense of relief that their mother would be okay.
But she wasn’t okay.
Dawn wasn’t okay and as
darkness consumed her she knew that she wasn’t okay.
She ran out of the room and
down the hallway ignoring the doctor that called her name. She couldn’t talk to him, she could barely
breath.
She ran into the bathroom
pushing a woman out of the way as she ran inside. She closed the door and locked it, then ran
into a stall, barely making it before she threw up in the toilet.