Being Real
Dawn
overheard every word that Giles and her mom had said. She wasn’t real? What did
they mean she wasn’t real? She felt her
skin and she pulled at her hair, it all felt real to her.
And
what about Buffy, she couldn’t trust her own sister? Well she did try to strangle me so why would she save me? It sort of all made sense; the eerie sense
of not belonging, her sister’s sudden hatred toward her, the abrupt move to
Spike’s crypt, deep down she had known something wasn’t right but she actually
just thought it had to do with Buffy.
After
she tried to reach Angel and he didn’t call her back she had been sad. She thought that since he cut Buffy out of
his life, that he was doing the same to her, which had broken her heart. She loved Angel, even knowing that he was
mean to Buffy she still loved him. He was like Spike in some ways but so much
better.
She
wasn’t as gullible as everyone thought she was, she was fully aware of the fact
that Spike was only around because of the chip. Deep down she knew that you
really couldn’t trust him. She got
along great with him because he treated her like a person and not some dumb
kid. And he truly liked her.
But
Angel was different. With Angel she
knew that she could trust him in all ways. Not only did he treat her like a
person, but also he was honest with her, he talked to her straight up. Without
her ever telling him, he had known that she felt somewhat insecure and small
next to Buffy.
He
would just ruffle her hair and chuckle telling her that in the big scheme of
things, everyone was equal. It didn’t
matter if you were a high school kid doing teenager things or a vampire slayer,
in the long run, when we faced our maker, it was the way you lived your life
that counted.
Dawn
had always remembered those words and she tried to live her life the best she
could. Yeah she was still a nagging annoying little sister, but that was her
job!
She
loved Buffy and she loved her mom and she wanted to stay with them. She just wanted to be a kid. She wondered if this was how Buffy always
felt…trapped and confused. And she had
a new respect for the sister. Now she
understood that it wasn’t hatred that drove her to be mean, it was the constant
weight of responsibility that wore her sister down.
It was
never having the sanctuary and peace that she craved. Never being able to be
with the one person that would keep her grounded.
In
between her confusion she felt a fission of relieve. Things would be better now that Angel was around. Her sister would finally have a chance to be
her sister, and Dawn wanted that more than anything else in the world…to just
belong once again.
She
had to see him. He would explain everything to her. She quietly slipped through
the crypt door and ran through the cemetery at full speed. She would go to the
one place she knew she could get an honest answer.
**
KNOCK…KNOCK…KNOCK…
The
insistent knocking woke Spike who was sleeping on the couch. He got up not annoyed that he was being
woken. He threw open the door ready to
rip whoever it was to shreds, only to see an ashen-faced Dawn.
“Niblet
what’s wrong?” He took her arm and
pulled her inside the mansion, he looked quickly outside to make sure no one
had followed her. “What the hell are you doing out this late and by yourself?”
he yelled at her.
“I…I…is
Angel here?” Spike was hurt that she
wanted to speak to the poof and not him.
Hadn’t he been there for her?
Hadn’t they gotten close over the last couple of months?
He
lowered his voice and stepped closer. “What do you want him for? You can talk
to me?”
“Dawn?” Angel came out of the bedroom in a pair of
black sweats. He had been in his room
brooding about Buffy and trying to decide what to do next. When he sensed her. At first he was ecstatic
that she came to him. But then he realized that it wasn’t the strong connection
that he normally felt when she was near, it was different, it was Buffy but it
wasn’t Buffy. He knew right away who
had come to the mansion.
When
Dawn saw him she ran to him and threw herself in his arms, “Angel” she sobbed,
“Please tell me it’s not true. Please
I’m real…I know I’m real. Please…please tell me.” She was hysterical in his arms and he just held her tightly as
sadness filled him for what she was going through.
He
raised his eyes to Spike who stood glaring at them. “Shhh Dawn its okay, just
relax, sit down and breathe. Spike, get her something to drink.”
“Like
what you poof a pint of 0 positive?”
Angel
growled at him. “Water you numb nut.”
Spike
stalked from the room.
Dawn
sat curled up on the couch tears streaming down her face faster than Angel
could wipe them away. “That’s why she tried to kill me isn’t? Because I’m not real, because I’m not her
sister.”
“Shhh…no
Dawn. Buffy’s behavior has nothing to do with you. I’m responsible for that.
But it’s okay I’m here now and I’m going to make everything better.”
She
didn’t hear him. “She tried to strangle me you know. She hates me.”
Angel
didn’t think his heart could break anymore than it could. But knowing that his stupidity not only
caused his love pain but also her young innocent sister broke him even more. He
gathered her in his arms, and tucked her head under his chin. He spoke calmly
wanting to reassure her of her place. “No she doesn’t hate you. She’s just a little lost right now.”
“A
little, that’s an understatement.”
Angel glared at Spike’s interruption as he walked in carrying a glass of
water.
“Here
Niblet drink this.” He handed her the
glass and then sat down next to her.
Dawn
sipped the water and put it down on the table.
Angel gently took her chin in his hand and brought her eyes to his. “Dawn I know that you feel confused but you
have to understand that no matter what you were before, it doesn’t matter. Because you’re here now and you are real and
you are a part of Buffy. And Spike and I, Giles, Willow, Xander…everyone’s here
to make sure that you stay with us.”
Spike
stroked her hair comfortingly. He truly loved the Niblet she was like his
little sis’ and he spoke from the heart. “That’s right bit no one’s going to
hurt you not while I’m on watch.”
Angel
helped her up and led her to his bedroom. “Come on why don’t you lay down and
get some rest. I’ll check up on you in
a little while.”
He
walked her to his bedroom. “Okay…” she sniffled. “But don’t leave me alone
please.”
He
placed her on the bed, “Shhh it’s okay I won’t leave you.” He covered her with the blanket then leaned
down and kissed her on the forehead. He smiled warmly at her. “Don’t worry Dawn
everything will be okay.”
He
grabbed his clothes that were thrown on the chair and headed out of the room.
“Angel?”
“Yeah”
he turned to look at her.
“I’m
glad you’re back I missed you.”
He
smiled at her. “I missed you too Dawn.
Now get some sleep.”
Walking
out of the bedroom he closed the door. He had to talk to Giles and let him know
what happened. He didn’t know how Dawn
had found out; he just prayed to God that it wasn’t Buffy that told her. He knew that eventually he would also have
to talk to Joyce. That scared even the Demon, but it was something that he had
to do.
He
quickly got dressed and threw on his coat. “Spike stay here and watch her I’m
going out.”
He
left the mansion leaving behind a disgruntled Spike. “Yes master sire sir.”