I had just closed my eyes to try to get some sleep since I felt like I hadn’t slept in days, when I heard the front door open and the sound of angry footsteps and loud voices.  Well one loud voice at least.

 

“You still should have told me Buffy!”

 

I opened my eyes and groggily straightened up in my chair to see Buffy strolling in the living room. She had a glow around her that was warm and rosy. Her eyes glittered with happiness and satisfaction, and I smiled back at her as she flashed me a tremendous smile. “Hi Connor.” Her voice was chipper and carefree, like she didn’t have a care in the world.

 

She was the complete opposite of Angel, who stormed in right behind her the darkest scowl on his face, his eyes crinkled in anger and pitch black like the night. The aura of fury that surrounded him was as evident as the sunny happiness that shone all around Buffy.

 

“Hi Buffy…ah, Dad.”

 

“Angel will you let it go already. Let’s not forget that there are specific things that you should have told me.” She looked at me as she walked by saying that, ruffling my hair as she passed making me cringe. “Hungry baby?”

 

I watched as my father’s scowl darkened as he followed her out of the living room and into the kitchen. “Ah yeah.” I stood up and tagged along, I was starving but the thought of Buffy cooking turned my stomach. I wonder how I could get my father to cook something without insulting Buffy.

 

“That’s not the point Buffy! This was important.” He said as he took off his jacket and carelessly threw it on the railing of the stairs as he passed it.

 

“Oh and having a son with your ‘dead’ sire isn’t?” She threw back at him.

 

I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn’t sure how to answer her so he didn’t. He just sat down in the chair, placing his hands on his face.

 

I sat down across from him a smile on my face. It was just so nice to see my father so out of sorts.  It was a new experience for me and I was really enjoying it. But I guess he didn’t appreciate my sense of humor with the whole situation. He looked up at me, “What are you smiling about?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“What would you like to eat Connor?” she asked as she stood in front of the open refrigerator. “I’ve got pizza.”

 

I shuddered at the thought of eating old pizza again and my father stood up and rolled his eyes. He took her by the shoulders and steered her to a seat. “Sit down,” he grumbled then he started rummaging through the cabinets and the fridge. He pulled out some chicken cutlets and cheese, pasta and a jar of sauce, which he looked at very unhappily, like he couldn’t believe he was going to use jarred sauce.  Then he rolled up his sleeves and started to prepare the chicken.

 

“Buffy?”

 

Her eyes that had been following Angel around the kitchen turned to me questioningly. “Yes?”

 

“How did you become immortal?”

 

The light dimmed in her eyes as she looked down at her hands that were folded together on the table.  I sensed her hesitation about talking about it.  It seemed like a memory she didn’t want to relive and she also snuck a peek at my father.

 

“Yes Buffy enlighten us as to how that came to be?” he said pounding his fist into the chicken a clear indication that she hadn’t told him yet.

 

“You know I have a meat tenderizer for that,” she lightly said but he just growled and punched the chicken cutlet again, making the utensils on the counter rattle. She shrugged, “Suit yourself.”

 

“Was it when you came back from…” I didn’t know how to finish my sentence. It made me uncomfortable to think of her as dying but she didn’t seem to have any problem with it.

 

“…the dead?”  She said blankly and my father growled again picking up another cutlet and slapping it down on the counter, pounding that one.

 

“Um yeah.”

 

She nodded her head as she watched Angel beat up the chicken cutlet with his fist.

 

I was curious about the whole thing; I felt the underlying tension between them concerning this particular subject but I didn’t care I wanted to know all the little details.  I was fascinated with the idea of being immortal I always had been, but I never felt comfortable discussing it with my father. I guess because his immortality is linked to the demon, and it felt odd talking about it, almost taboo. But Buffy’s immortality wasn’t associated with evil, hers was different and I felt at ease asking her.  “Did you know right away?”

 

Her eyes dimmed with haunted memories and her voice was dismal. “No. I mean I knew that there was something different about me, that I came back wrong.”

 

She was interrupted by the loud punch of my father’s fist into a cutlet. “You did not come back wrong!” he snarled.

 

She looked up at him, her eyes sad. “Yes I did Angel.”

 

He spun around, “NO you did not!” His words were precise, clipped, and angry.

 

“Angel, don’t stand there and tell me that.  You sensed it, I know you did don’t deny it.” She stared at him, he snarled and turned around back to his chicken, once more attacking it brutally but not denying her statement. 

 

Her eyes softened as she watched the muscles in his back strain as he flattened the chicken, then she looked at me. “I was patrolling one night, I guess it was about a month after I came back, I’m not sure, anyway I came across a couple of vamps and we started to fight.  I think there were four of them. I killed the first three pretty quickly and when I was done I turned around to finish off the fourth. But he was right behind me. The bastard snuck up on me; pulled the extra stake I had in the back of my pants out and staked me in the stomach.”

 

My eyes grew large with surprise and my father’s reaction was one of pent up anger. He slammed the glass-baking dish onto the counter. The glass shattered everywhere and Buffy stood up quickly walking over to him. “Damn it Angel that was my mom’s!” she screamed as she started to pick up the glass that was all over the floor.

 

“Ouch!”

 

He grabbed her by the shoulders drawing her up to her feet. He scowled as he grabbed her finger that was sliced from a piece of glass and bleeding.  “Give me that,” he said gruffly as he drew her finger to his  his lips and closed them around it. They stared into each other’s eyes as he sucked on her finger. Drawing it out, he licked it clean, his other hand going around Buffy’s body as she leaned into him, like she was in a trance.

 

Seeing how they weren’t going to clean up the glass I stood up grabbed the dustpan and swept it up. After throwing it in the trash I sat back down. I cleared my throat, loudly; I wanted to hear the rest not watch them get all hot and bothered again. “So what happened?”

 

She stepped back from him, she smiled at him warmly and he scowled back then turned to his victim…the chicken, once again.

 

“The short of it…I died.” She walked over to the fridge and took out three cokes.  “Then about ten seconds later I was alive again.”  She put two cokes on the table and then leaned against the fridge she opened the third and raised it to her lips. “It was actually kind of cool.”

 

“Dying is not cool Buffy,” Angel snarled at her. He was clearly upset with the entire conversation and I couldn’t understand why. I mean alright she died I get that, but she was here now and they were practically the same.  He didn’t’ have to worry about watching her get old and die, so what was his problem?

 

She snorted, “Sure easy for you to say, you’ve had hundreds of years to get used to it. I’ve only had the luxury of dying twice before that. And coming back from those two times wasn’t all peaches and cream. Well they always say, the third one’s a charm.”

 

He turned around. “Immortality is not something to be flippant about. It’s a huge responsibility.  One that you have to deal with every day. And you should treat it with more respect.”

 

“Oh please.” She waved her hand at him, completely bored with his highhanded speech and I grinned as his scowl darkened even further.

 

She sat back down next to me. “So after that I kind of figured that’s what happened. I guess the spell Willow used, had more than one consequence.”

 

“She never should have done it to begin with,” my father mumbled under his breath as he turned around to pull out another baking dish. But I heard him and so did Buffy.

 

“I didn’t hear you complaining about it when you had my back up against a tree,” she reminded him and he didn’t answer her.

 

“What do you mean consequences?”

 

“There are always consequences when you use black magic like the spell Willow used to resurrect her,” he said as he placed the cutlets in the pan.

 

“Yeah see when she brought me back another demon was brought back too. It was no biggy though I killed him.” She drank down some more soda, her eyes once more watching Angel.

 

“What does it feel like?” I asked her and she looked at me. “I mean does it feel different than when you weren’t?”

 

She shrugged and my father spoke. “How do you feel?” he asked me and I turned to look at him. He was staring at me intently, his eyes dark and expressive.

 

“Me?”

 

He nodded then turned back to the cutlets putting cheese on them and then topping them off the sauce. “You’re The Vindex Connor.”

 

“Yeah but…” I never once stopped to think what being The Vindex fully meant to me besides guarding the baby. 

 

He opened the stove and threw the pan inside closing the door he turned back around to me, his eyes slightly softer then what they were. “Didn’t the Oracles explain to you exactly who the Vindex is and what his job is?”

 

Buffy snorted, “Yeah right, like they ever say anything completely.” My father smirked at her and I just sat there dumbly, feeling completely stupid for not thinking about this before. “Well yeah I mean no…I don’t know.” I lowered my head to the table feeling like a dunce.

 

“The Vindex is immortal Connor.  He has to be since he’s the lifetime guardian of The Child of Scintillate.“

 

“Lifetime?” Buffy’s eyes crinkled as she looked at him.

 

He nodded looking just as glum as she did. “Lifetime.”

 

“But that’s not fair!”  She sounded extremely indignant with that and as I stopped to wonder why, I realized that this was it!  This was my job for the rest of my life.  Goodbye normal – hello immortality.

 

Angel smiled at her lovingly his eyes softening even more. “Nothing’s fair in this world Buffy you know that.”

 

“So I’m immortal?” I said it with a smile on my face because I just thought that was the coolest. Plus it meant that I would never have to leave my family again, and I didn’t have to worry about fucking up my mission. I would always be around to watch over my sibling.

 

But my father scowled at me. “Didn’t you just hear what I said?  Immortality is a big reasonability especially yours, don’t get cocky with it. You can still die.”

 

Well that was a bit of a deflation. “I can?”

 

He grinned and nodded at me then picked up the very large and very pointy butcher’s knife that was on the counter, he walked up behind me and drew the blade under my chin just a hair away from my skin. He whispered sinisterly in my ear, “Beheading.”

 

“Angel stop it!” Buffy scolded him all the while she was chuckling at his antics.

 

I suppose if I didn’t have a shiny knife under my throat and didn’t just hear that with a slice of a sword my head was gone and me with it, that I would find it funny too. But I didn’t.

 

I slapped his hand away as he laughed and stood up straight. Buffy stood up and walked over to the cabinet pulling out a pot she filled it with water and placed it on the oven.  “Don’t worry Connor, you’re a good fighter, you just have to learn to keep your head on your shoulders.”

 

My father snickered as he took a seat at the table and I scowled. “Ha ha very funny.”

 

“Well look at it this way, you’ll always be young and handsome.” Buffy said smiling just as the phone rang. She walked out of the kitchen and to the hallway to answer it.

 

“Dad?”

 

“Mmm.” He said absently I could tell he was in another world, as his eyes were glued to Buffy’s ass as she walked out.

 

“What did Giles say, about the prophecy? Does he know about me?” I was curious about Buffy’s ex-watcher and what kind of man he was. The only watcher I had ever known was Wesley and we never really got along that well. There was a part of me that thought of watchers as stuffy bookworms that were only good for knowledge and nothing more. I mean yeah I had seen Wesley fight demons but he was still just mortal, and I had heard Cordy making comments about how he used to be a pussy. So I wondered if Giles was the same. The bigger question in my mind though was if he would also look at me with hatred and mistrust like Wesley had.

 

Before he could answer me Buffy came storming back into the kitchen her face red with anger. “That was Faith.”  She looked at my father her arms crossed over her chest her foot tapping impatiently. “Do you mind telling me why Giles is on his way here?”

 

Angel sat back in his chair lifting the coke that was in front of him he drank it nonchalantly. His face crinkled with distaste as he put it back down on the table and looked at me. “How can you drink this crap?” Then he got up and walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

 

“Angel!” Buffy yelled as she followed him to the living room and over to the liquor cabinet where he was pouring himself a whiskey. Of course I was right behind her.

 

“Are you going to answer me?”

 

I stood in the doorway listening intently. He drank his shot then poured himself another. “He wants to help Buffy and I agreed.”

 

“Oh you agreed!  Well then that makes everything okay doesn’t it,” he scowled at her sarcasm.

 

“Just what the hell is he going to help with Angel? Last time I checked you were perfectly capable of screwing me by yourself!”

 

My eyes widened with her hostility because I didn’t understand where it was coming from.  I was under the impression that slayers got along with their watchers.

 

“Jesus Buffy do you have to be so vulgar?”

 

“Well apparently I do to get anywhere with you!”

 

“Look he loves you like a daughter, he knows all about the prophecy, and he can help. I, for one, think it will be very beneficial for all of us to have him around. So whatever issues you have with him, get over it!”

 

Her face turned even redder as she huffed and stormed out of the room and upstairs slamming the door to her bedroom shut.

 

“Where’s that coming from?” I asked as I followed him out of the living room and back into the kitchen.  He put his glass down on the counter and started to put pasta in the boiling water.

 

He shrugged and said, “You’ll have to ask her.” 

 

He was a little too blasé about it, and the fact that he didn’t go after her told me there was more to the story then just that. I eyeballed him suspiciously. “What else are you not saying Dad?”

 

He turned around to face me. “Connor sit down.” 

 

I did as he said and sat down in the chair looking at him expectantly. He sat down next to me and faced me. “Connor there’s a lot going on right now, with you, Buffy and myself, Lucian.” he growled out. “Not to mention the fact that I still have a bounty on my head. I can’t be here all the time and you need training.”

 

“Training? Training for what? I know how to fight dad.”

 

“I know you do Connor but there is still much more for you to learn and the fact that I won’t always be here to train you myself worries me.  Giles will be able to do that for me.”

 

I scoffed at him, because I couldn’t help but feel insulted. “What’s some stuffy watcher going to teach me that I don’t know already?”

 

“Connor there are many types of demons that you are going to have to face, Giles will be able to teach you about them, tell you the best way to defeat them and how to do it as quickly as possible. Plus he knows the prophecy, very well.”

 

Oh well that wasn’t so bad. As long as he wasn’t going to train me to fight because come on he was just a watcher for god’s sake! What could he possibly know about fighting?

 

“He will also continue to train you to fight.”

 

I stood up angrily! “What!  Dad I…”

 

“Connor sit down!”

 

I sat down and glared at him.

 

“Giles is an efficient fighter.”

 

“Yeah about as efficient as Wesley was.” I smirked but he didn’t like being reminded of his dead friend. His hand shot out and he slapped me across the face.  My hand went up to my burning cheek as I scowled even more darkly at him.

 

The demon looked back at me his eyes a bright, pissed off yellow and his voice was thunderous. “Don’t talk about Wesley that way. He was a good man and he died fighting to save you, me and the whole fucking world!”

 

I had enough sense to know that I was wrong.  Yeah I had issues with Wesley but I guess my father wasn’t the one to talk with about that, so I lowered my head respectfully. “I’m sorry.”

 

A few silent seconds passed before his face shifted back and his eyes were once more a deep chocolate. He sat back in his seat and sighed. “No I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe he’d done that. But I could.  To me it was just one more sign of how he was teetering on that line between good and evil.

 

“Look Connor, Giles is a good man.  He trained Faith, and he trained Buffy, it’s what he does. He’s perfectly capable of training you too.”

 

I just nodded my assent I wouldn’t argue with him about it anymore. “Okay dad.”

 

He stood up suddenly, his face changed to the demon as his head whipped around the room.

 

I stood up, “What? What is it?”

 

He quickly walked out of the room and grabbed his coat. “I have to go, when the chicken’s ready drag Buffy down here to eat. If you have too, tie her up and throw it down her throat. She has a tendency not to eat enough.”

 

“But where are you going? It’s almost morning!” I asked as I followed him to the door.

 

“I have to go, I’ll be back later.”  With that he was gone, out the door and down the street. I closed the door and then leaned against it, my eyes looking at the clock on the wall. It was three in the morning; he didn’t have much time before the sun rose. 

 

Standing up straight my mind wondered back to Giles. I wasn’t so sure about meeting him.  I resented the fact that my father thought I needed additional training, why I have no idea when I also questioned my own ability to protect Buffy and the baby.  But I guess like any teenager, note I did not use the word normal, I had a problem with authority and being told what to do.

 

I headed back to the kitchen when I heard the timer go off on the oven. Taking the chicken out, I prepared two plates one for me and one for Buffy. I loaded them both up with the chicken Parmesan my father made and the pasta.  I grabbed a tray and two more cokes then made my way upstairs.

 

“Buffy can I come in?”

 

She opened the door and smiled at me, letting me walk inside.

 

She snorted at the tray. “He’s gone again isn’t he?”

 

“How’d you know?” I asked I put the tray down on the little table by the window.

 

“If he was here I’m sure he’d be up here forking all that food in my mouth.” She said as she sat down in the chair at the table.

 

I smiled at her and sat down too. “He told me to throw it down your throat if you don’t eat.” I had a vision of myself being thrown into the wall and Buffy standing over me, and I looked at her. “I’m not going to have to do that am I?”

 

She chuckled, “No. I’m a big girl Connor. Contrary to what your father thinks I’m quite capable of eating on my own.”

 

We picked up our forks and started to eat.

 

“Mmmm … this is really good,” she mumbled with her eyes closed.

 

I smiled at her watching her eat. “Yeah Dad’s a good cook.”

 

“Something else he never told me,” she said as she shoveled more chicken in her mouth.

 

“How long have you known?” I asked her quietly and her eyes rose to mine as she put down her fork.

 

She settled back in her chair as she continued to stare at me. I couldn’t decipher what it meant but it made me uncomfortable.  I never stopped to think that this was one person that probably hated my existence more then anyone else. And it made me wonder if all her kindness had been false.

 

“I’ve always known.” She quietly said.

 

“Then why didn’t you say something when I told you what my name was?”

 

She shrugged, “Honestly I didn’t put it all together, at least not that day.”

 

“When did you?”

 

“When we sparred, you reminded me so much of Angel. That’s when I realized who you were.”

 

I lowered my head, my chicken Parmesan suddenly becoming the most interesting thing I had ever seen.  For some reason, I just couldn’t look her in the eye.  I guess I was afraid to see hatred staring back at me or loathing, or god knew whatever feeling one would have if their soul mate had a child with someone else.  Whatever it was, I didn’t want to see it.

 

“Connor…” she spoke softly, “look at me.”

 

I forced myself to look at her at the same time as I braced myself for whatever it was she was going to say.

 

“I don’t hate you, at least I don’t now. I won’t lie to you though; when I first saw you I hated you with everything inside of me. ”

 

“You…you saw me?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Da, I mean Angel, he never told me.”

 

“Because he didn’t know.” She took a drink of her soda. “Remember when I told you about the memory spell my friend cast that when wrong?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well it was after that. See she cast a spell that made everyone forget who they were, and things were nice for a couple of hours. But then when the spell broke the memories all came back to me; everything that I had been blissfully ignorant about came crashing back. It was hard, extremely hard.”

 

Her eyes were somber as she lifted her glass and took another drink of her soda.

 

“Anyway a few nights later I went to see Angel. I just had to talk to someone you know? I thought that if I could just talk to him then things would be better. When I got there I saw you, in your father’s arms, and…Cordelia. She was there rubbing your head the love of a mother on her face. I stood there staring at the three of you and I was shocked.  Actually, shocked probably isn’t the right word, but anyway, all I could think about was how he had everything he ever wanted and I had nothing.  I never went inside, I never said anything, I just left. After that, things got real ugly for me, but there’s no need to go into that so I’ll stop right there.”

 

“You mean Spike.” I answered her quietly and she looked taken aback. “He told you about Spike?”

 

I snorted, “Yeah because we both know how open and forthcoming my father is.”

 

She chuckled and I smiled back at her, then I remembered the visions of her and Spike together, the darkness that surrounded her, the pain that she welcomed, and I looked away unable to show her all that I knew. “I um…”

 

“The visions?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

She snorted, “That graphic huh?”

 

I fidgeted in my seat, “Well…sort of.” I cleared my throat, “So you um thought Cordelia was my mother?”

 

“Well yeah, I mean what else would I think? Besides the miraculous question about how he could even have a child, I never once thought it was Darla. I mean, I saw Angel stake her with my own eyes right in front of me. Then of course when Willow was there, to re-soul him, she came back and told me about you and how… close he and Cordelia seemed to be.”

 

“But you already knew about me.” I pointed out to her.

 

“Yeah but I never told anyone.  No one knew I went to see him. As far as they knew we met right when I came back from the dead and that was it. See at the time, my friends…” she sneered the word and I got a glimpse of the resentment she had toward them. “were too happy that I was back to even consider that I was unhappy.”

 

I shook my head, “I know I sensed that.”

 

“Gee is there anything you don’t know?” 

 

I blushed. “I’m sorry; I don’t mean to intrude on your life.”

 

She smiled, “Connor relax I’m kidding. Actually I’m a little jealous, I mean your visions seem so accurate and clear, mine are never like that. They’re just foggy and patchy.”

 

“So I guess you’re not too happy about Giles coming?” 

 

“I don’t know, I mean Giles has been like a father to me. I love him. But I don’t know.  It’s very complicated. I wouldn’t say happy. I’m not unhappy, but I’m not looking forward to it either.”

 

“That I understand.” I said solemnly and she smiled at me, “Yeah I guess you do.”

 

“Connor when I left America I came here and ended all ties with my friends. I just needed to be by myself. You know figure things out like just who the hell was Buffy Summers. I’d been the slayer for so long that I lost track of who and what I was as a person, and I had to come to terms with the fact that I had, scratch that, have, many issues with the people that I called friends, and Giles is one of them.”

 

Now this I could relate to on so many levels. It’s what I always felt about myself. Disconnected with who and what I was and was supposed to be. Hell I still was. “Have you found your answers?”

 

She shrugged, “Some, but mostly no.”

 

“Is that why you’re with Lucian?” I asked again and I didn’t know if she would tell me or not. Maybe I was walking on too personal ground but for some reason her story seemed so much like my own and I thought that if I could learn something from her experiences and mix them with my own than maybe I would have more answers for myself.

 

“Lucian.  You’re not going to let up on that one are you? Gees just like your father.”  I smirked at her, “Thanks.” I said proudly and she chuckled.

 

“I met Lucian when I first came here. Faith and I were out clubbing and he came up to me and asked me to dance.  I knew what he was, I mean my slayer senses were in overdrive but for some reason, I don’t know there was just something about him that drew me to him.  When I went home that night it was like I was in daze you know, like I wasn’t really sure where I had been and what I’d done. And ever since then he just comes around and we go out. It’s weird though because I never seem to remember us having plans or anything like that.  He just shows up, tells me we had plans and then we go out.”  She sat there a perplexed look on her face like she had thought of this hundreds of times yet still couldn’t figure it out.

 

“Maybe he has you under a thrall.”

 

“I thought about that, I mean I was under a thrall once, a long time ago. But it just seems different this time.”  Once again the memories crept into her mind making her voice sound far off.

 

The plot thickens. “My father?”

 

She laughed, “Angel!  God no, believe you me Connor that man has never needed to put me under a thrall to get what he wants.”  She winked and damn it if I didn’t blush again.  This was becoming a habit of hers that I could see I would have to break her of.

 

She leaned in to the table and whispered, “Can you keep a secret?”  I leaned in closer and whispered back, “Yes.”

 

“Dracula.”

 

“No way!  The Dracula?”

 

“Yup.  He came to Sunnydale the year before I died and he had me under his thrall. The bastard even bit me before I realized what was going on.”

 

“Why?”

 

She shrugged, “I don’t know.  He sprouted some shit about how I was his perfect match and we were meant to be together and all that.  He even said that you’re father was unworthy of me.”

 

“WHAT!”

 

We both jumped up at the angry bellow that came from the doorway. “Oh hey Dad.  Back so soon?” I innocently said.

 

Buffy smiled and walked over to him; she cupped his cheek and kissed him. “Hi baby, how many were there this time.” She said nonchalantly as her eyes scanned over his dirty bloody clothes.

 

I couldn’t hold back my smirk at the look of childlike disbelieve on my father’s face. “Three,” he answered quietly.

 

“That’s it, um. You should really get out of those clothes Angel.  They’re beginning to smell.” She said wrinkling her nose at him.

 

“Did I just hear you correctly?” he asked her as she walked over to the bed and sat down.

 

“Well I don’t know honey, what exactly was it that you think you heard?” she asked looking at her nails.

 

“Connor?” His head whipped over to me.

 

I jumped up and walked over to him. “Yes Dad?”

 

He handed me a piece of paper. “Go to this address, there’s a bag in the closet, grab it and bring it here.”

 

I looked at the address then looked back up at him. “Isn’t this that old house down the road, the one with the overgrown vines and the black window drapes that looks like no one has lived in it for years?”

 

Buffy’s eyebrow went up, “Oh…been stalking again?” she asked sweetly pointedly staring at him. He shuffled, “No I don’t stalk. I’ve owned it for years.” He mumbled.

 

“Ah ha, and you just so happen to have clothes there that aren’t from the eighteenth century?”

 

He threw off his jacket in a huff, “Alright, so I’ve been there…here and there. Connor just go and bring me the bag please.”

 

I smiled at him. I’ll never get over the joy that consumed me at my father’s expense. “Sure Dad.” 

 

I left the room and closed the door on my father’s loud yet whiney voice, “Did you sleep with him too?”

 

Walking down the steps I started to whistle. He was so full of shit my father. All that crap he told me in Ireland was just a smoke screen.  He had been checking up on Buffy since god knew when.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, I mean, it was what he did best, stalk and watch, never participating in the lives of the people that he loves.  I knew that was all going to change now because there was no way Buffy would let that continue, plus I don’t think he really wanted to anymore. Thank god!

 

 

******************

 

 

When I got back from my father’s house, which by the way was not as empty as it appeared on the outside. There was fresh blood in the fridge and the linens were all clean and dust free. But the most damning evidence that he had been there, and recently, were the sketches of Buffy that literally covered the bedroom floor.  I wondered what Buffy would say if she saw it. Knowing her she would probably smirk that ‘I knew it’ smile then badger him about it for hours. Um, maybe I should tell her.

 

As I made my way upstairs, my ears picked up the sound of lusty grunts and groans, and loud banging against the wall.  I dropped the bag in front of the bedroom door then quickly fled down the stairs. I laid down on the couch in the living room, and closed my eyes. I was tired. More tired than I ever had been, which was curious. I mean I’m immortal now, doesn’t that count for something?  Why should I get tired like the rest of them? But I was, so much so that I quickly fell asleep.

 

I awoke to the sound of the doorbell. I didn’t know how long I’d been sleeping or even how long that annoying doorbell had been ringing.  Reluctantly, I got up, wiped the sleep from my eyes as I walked over to the door and opened it.

 

He stood there staring at me. He wore a pair of grey slacks, a button down black shirt that was neatly tucked into his pants, and a brown leather jacket.  “Hello, you must be Connor,” he said as he walked inside, dropped the big duffel bag he was carrying and held out his hand. I took it and squeezed, hard. Yeah I was annoyed and I wanted to show him that I didn’t need his help.

 

 “And you must be Giles.”

 

We held each other’s hand in a death grip, both of us staring at each other refusing to give in.  I was surprised by the strength that I felt in his hand. “Nice grip.” I begrudgingly admitted.

 

“Yes, um you too.” 

 

We let go and stood there staring at each other.  His eyes wandered all over my face and down my body all the way to my toes, and then back up. He looked completely in awe. It made me uncomfortable.

 

“Do I have two heads or something?” I asked a little perturbed as he just stood there staring at me like he just couldn’t believe what he was looking at.

 

“You have to forgive Giles Connor; he’s finding it hard to believe that two vampires can procreate.”   I looked up to see my father casually strolling down the stairs and buttoning his shirt at the same time.

 

Giles blushed, “Yes…please forgive me. It’s just…wow.”

 

I shifted on my feet feeling like a freak in a carnival when my father walked up to Giles and slapped him on the back. “How was your flight?” He moved him into the living room and Giles finally looked away from me. “Fine thank you. How are things here, anything new?”  He sat down on the couch his eyes searching the room, exploring its lack of contents, and his face darkened with apprehension. “Um…is Buffy here?”

 

“She’s resting upstairs. Can I get you a drink?”

 

He sighed, “Yes please.”

 

My father poured them both drinks and I silently crept inside the room and stood in the corner. I wanted a few minutes to observe the man that I would probably be spending a lot of time with in the near future.

 

“Connor sit down.” My father said, his eyes intensely staring at me, not allowing me the few moments that I craved.  I sighed and walked around sitting down in a chair. The second I did, Giles’ eyes were once more riveted on me.  It was really starting to piss me off.

 

“I don’t have fangs and drink blood if that’s what you’re wondering.” I said bitingly. “Ouch!” My hand reached back to the back of my head that was just gifted with an unhappy father slap. I looked at him and his eyes pretty much said it all ‘be respectful or I’ll kick your ass.’

 

“Sorry.” I said as my eyes turned back to Giles.

 

He blushed again, “No it’s alright, I’m sorry Connor I don’t mean to stare it’s just quite amazing.” He took a drink, “So um how are you dealing with your new destiny? Angel told me your story. It must have been quite a shock, I would imagine, to learn that your destiny was not what you thought it was.”

 

I shrugged not feeling to friendly at that moment. “I don’t know, I guess so.”  He smiled at me warmly.

 

“Yes it’s a lot to take in all at once. I just want you to know that I’m not here to interfere or tell you what to do, I’m simply here to help you better become acquainted with your duties as The Vindex and to assist in any demon research that you might need. So tell me, Connor, what did The Oracles tell you about The Vindex?”

 

He was just jumping right in, asking his questions, trying to make me like him and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to do that. I had issues about Giles being here, having my father think that I needed someone to help me wasn’t exactly an ego strengthener. But I think it was more than that. I think it’s because I felt resentment toward him for whatever he did to Buffy.  My allegiance to her was so strong now, that when we talked earlier her resentments became my own without me even knowing it, and without even knowing why she resented him.  “How do you know so much about it?” I asked scornfully.

 

“Connor.” My father snarled, unhappy with my attitude. I ignored him and kept my gaze on Giles. 

 

 “No Angel, it’s perfectly alright. While studying to become a Watcher I did my thesis on the myth of The Child of Scintillate and The Vindex. I am very well versed in the prophecy Connor.”

 

“And that makes you an expert?”

 

“Well I don’t know about an expert, but I’m probably the only person alive besides the powers that be and evil of course, that knows about it. So yes I guess I am.”

 

“She doesn’t want you here you know?” I said without even thinking and was once again rewarded with my father’s hand slapping me on the head, although this time it made my brain rattle.

 

But Giles didn’t seem to put off of by that, he straightened in his seat, his face and eyes hardened and his voice was stern. “Angel, it’s okay.  Connor, I’m not here for Buffy, I’m here to help you.”

 

“Yeah but in helping me you are helping her, so you can’t say that.”

 

He smiled at me, “Yes I suppose you’re right. But regardless, Buffy and I are two mature adults and whatever…problems, we have with one another we can put aside for the greater good.”

 

“Oh suddenly my sex life is the greater good.”

 

We all turned to see Buffy standing in the doorway, her arms crossed and her eyes staring at Giles.  He stood up and nodded at her, smiling briefly. “Buffy. How…how are you?” he asked quietly and she just stared back at him completely untouched by the emotion in his voice.

 

But I wasn’t, it actually made me feel bad for him. The question had crossed my mind why Giles would come here to help me. I mean I was the son of the one-time vampire lover of his surrogate daughter. A daughter whom he wasn’t exactly on good terms with to begin with. So why help me? But it made sense now.  The love he felt for her was written all over his face and in his body language as he uncomfortably shifted on his feet. He loved her and he hated that things were so strained between them. That was my answer, he saw this as an opportunity to make amends and regain his relationship with her.

 

“You’re well I hope?”

 

For some reason I felt the need to jump in. Why? I have no idea. I mean it’s not like Giles was my best bud or something. But maybe it was because he was seeking redemption from her, maybe there was a little bit of that in me too and unwillingly it made me feel closer to him. So I jumped up wanting to get her angry green eyes off of him and on to me. “Can I get you anything Buffy?”

 

She looked over at me and then at Angel who looked back at her concerned yet anxious, like he was waiting for her to pounce on the poor watcher and stake him to death.  Her eyes lightened and she walked in, “No I’m good.  Thanks.”

 

She sat down and crossed her legs. My father and Giles both sighed with relief and sat down too. She looked at my father and then at Giles, then back at my father. “So when did you two become such bosom buddies? The last thing I knew you…” she looked pointedly at Giles, “hated Angel.”

 

“Buffy.” My father grumbled but Giles looked her right back in the eye and answered her. “Buffy I’ve never hated Angel.  Yes I’ve had my concerns when it came to him and his…soul, and yes there have been times when I wanted to kill him.” He looked over at my father who just nodded his head, like he already heard this entire conversation. “But the fact is that I’ve always trusted that he loved you and wanted what was best for you.”

 

“Ah ha, and that happen when…when he came to see you about this prophecy?” Okay so she didn’t believe him.  Well resentments could run very deep and painful. It looked like Giles had a long way to go in getting back on to her ‘I only talk to’ list.

 

I looked over at Giles whose face was now red, I didn’t have to guess why for long though. “Still as biting as ever I see.”

 

“Oh well gee forgive me if I’m not jumping for joy that you’re here.” Buffy sneered back at him and Giles stood up ready to battle.

 

“How many times do I have to apologize? For how long are you going to keep throwing that…that…decision back in my face?”

 

Buffy stood up and faced him, her face as red as his, her fists clenched at her side. “Until you can give me a good god damn reason why?”

 

“I’ve already explained why.”

 

“Yeah well it’s not good enough!”

 

I looked at my father to see if he had any idea as to what they were arguing about, but the look on his face was enough to convince me that he didn’t know either. He stood up and stepped in between them. “Giles, Buffy SIT DOWN!”

 

They stared at each other, both of them backing up and sitting back down in their respective chairs.

 

“Just what the hell are two you arguing about?” he asked looking back and forth between them.

 

Buffy huffed, and settled back in the chair, crossing her arms over her chest.  Giles pretty much did the same. Neither one of them answered my father. “Fine you don’t want to tell me then don’t. But you two are going to have to learn to get along with each other so deal with it.”

 

Buffy stood up and looked at him blankly, “You brought him here you deal with him.”  Then she quickly left the room.

 

My father closed his eyes and I could see his lips moving, like he was counting in Latin for patience. When he moved to follow her Giles stopped him. “Let her go Angel.” He said quietly. My father halted in his footsteps then sat back down. “She’s so stubborn.” He said looking at Giles, who smiled at him.  “Look Giles what ever is between you two is just that, between you two. Unless you need me to step in.” He added.

 

Whoa…hold up, he wasn’t going to bully him into telling him what was going on?  Well I couldn’t accept that, I needed to know.  “What a second, you’re not going to demand he tell you?”

 

“Connor it’s their business.” He said tiredly.

 

“No it’s your business, because it involves her.” I looked over at Giles, “and it’s my business because it involves her and if she’s upset by something that you did, then I want to know!”

 

I looked back at my father to see his reaction and he was angry, very angry but I stood my ground. I had to have a say in all of this I was through being left in the dark about important things, at least things I deemed important, and I wanted answers.

 

“It was the year we blew up Sunnydale,” Giles soft voice broke through the tension that was flowing between my father and I.  We both turned to look at him, quietly sitting back down in our seats as he stared off and told his story. “Although if I really looked closely at everything, I would have to say that tensions built between us the day we stood over Jenny’s grave.”

 

My father stood up and walked over to the mantle. His shoulders were stiff with tension as he stared at nothing.

 

“She’s always blamed me for that you know.  Of course she never said as much and she of course had her own guilt, but I know that she always felt that it was something I should have known. Something I should have researched further when your relationship progressed.  And I don’t know, maybe she’s right, maybe I didn’t do enough.”

 

“It’s not your fault Giles.  It’s nobody’s fault,” my father said softly but Giles didn’t hear him.  He just kept on talking.

 

“Then of course the list of my transgressions built from there. When you returned and she kept you a secret, we fought.  On her eighteenth birthday I lost her trust.  The year after you left Sunnydale, I was never there for her; I never saw the pain she was in. I don’t know maybe I did, but I didn’t want to admit how much you were a part of her. Then of course, when Glory showed up, we disagreed about Dawn. I’m ashamed to admit that I thought…” 

 

He stopped talking and he looked down, embarrassment evident on his face. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for him to finish his sentence. But my father finished it for him.

 

“You thought the world would be better if Dawn was dead.”

 

My eyes bulged; he wanted to kill her sister!

 

“Yes well, things weren’t looking very good for us then. I mean Glory had fought Buffy already a few times, and each time Buffy lost. And of course with Joyce being sick and Riley leaving, Buffy was…different, she had so much on her shoulders I wasn’t sure if she would come out of this one, if we all would.  She didn’t appreciate my comments though I’m afraid. She threatened to kill anyone that hurt Dawn.”

 

Angel smiled, “You know she’s protective of the people she loves Giles. It doesn’t mean anything else but that.”

 

“Yes well still, I lost a little bit more of her trust. After that, when Willow brought her back, I was so mad. I could’ve wrung Willows neck for doing it. I mean the absolute arrogance of her to think that she could manipulate magic like that for her own good was just illogical. And of course Buffy, she was so…distant and cold.  I left her you know, I went back to England. I thought it was the best thing for her. She had to stand on her own two feet. She was leaning on me too much.”

 

“So you left her when she needed you the most?  That’s nice, really nice Giles. No wonder she’s pissed.” I said angrily.

 

“Connor, you weren’t there.” My father said strained.

 

“And you were?” I asked, prodding him to show his true feelings. I could feel the tension in him, he wasn’t enjoying hearing this story any more then Giles was in telling it.  I knew my father, I knew it must be killing him to learn that the one person he thought would protect her, left her to fend for herself at a time when she needed support the most, at a time, when my father himself, was unable to be there.

 

“No.” He turned and looked at Giles, “If I was I wouldn’t have left her.”  His voice was cold as he stared at the watcher and Giles looked away.

 

“It wasn’t the right decision, I know that now. I knew it when I learned about her and Sp…” He stopped his eyes drawn to my father’s hard gaze.

 

He cleared his throat. “When I returned the following year it was like we didn’t even know each other. She resented me being back, even though she didn’t say it.  The final straw was right before we battled the First.  I wasn’t too sure of her state of mind.  She didn’t care about anyone.  It seemed the only person she did care about was Spike.”

 

My father quietly growled, Giles didn’t hear it, but I did.

 

“I guess I should have heeded her. She was right about him you know. The First needed his blood. I thought she was just too emotional about him to see things clearly and I didn’t trust her actions. We um…we asked her to leave.”

 

“Excuse me?” My father said, leaning in a little closer.

 

Giles finally looked up at him, I could tell he was bracing himself for the onslaught of anger from my father.

 

“We asked her to leave the house.  We wanted Faith to be in charge. No one trusted Buffy to make the right decisions.  No one!  Not even Dawn.” He was trying to justify his actions, but I didn’t buy it and thankfully neither did my father.

 

“Let me get this straight, you and all the other twenty people living in her house, people that she had saved numerous times before, kicked her out and told her she wasn’t in charge anymore, that Faith was?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The underlying rage that was coursing through my father felt like licks of a whip through my own body and I waited for the outburst that I knew would come. But it wasn’t what I was expecting. Instead of a loud angry rant, his voice was soft and literally frightening to hear.

 

“I should kill you myself.”

 

“And you would have every right. I know I screwed up Angel, I’ve known it since that day when she walked out. I have no excuse for my actions except that at the time, I thought I was doing what’s best.”

 

“How could you not trust her Giles, even after everything that she had been through you still should have trusted her.”   I sensed that this was an issue close to my father’s own heart. A time when people he thought loved and trusted him yet also gave up on him.

 

“I know, you’re right and I’ve apologized to her but I’m afraid she hasn’t accepted it yet.”

 

“I don’t blame her.” I said standing up I turned to my father. “This is the man that you trust to help me and her? I’m supposed to trust the man who so easily cast aside his faith in his own charge!”

 

“Connor, that was a long time ago. No matter how much I hate to admit it, he did what he thought was best. I don’t condone it.  Far from it, I hate it with everything in me, but I can’t change the past and neither can Giles. Buffy has to accept his apology and move on.”

 

I couldn’t believe how logical my father was being about this. Why was Giles betrayal affecting me more than him?

 

“Well I’m sorry, I can’t.  I can’t accept what he did and I can’t accept how easily you’re taking all of this!”

 

“What would you have me do Connor? I can’t change time. Forgiveness heals the heart and the soul. You of all people should know that.  Do you think we’d be standing here together if I never forgave you?”

 

I was speechless because he brought that up. And unfortunately, I didn’t have an answer. “I’m going to go see how she is.”

 

I left them there; they were just not two of my favorite people at the moment. I don’t know maybe I was making this out to be bigger than it really was, but I couldn’t help it. I felt Buffy’s anger and now I understood why, and I felt it was justified. The fact that my father could so easily take it in and then tell her to deal with it, made me sad. He was not the same man he used to be. I know there was a time when he would have followed her upstairs and talked to her lovingly and gently about it. Maybe he was right and she did have to get over it, but he never would have it done it so cold and callously.

 

My feet carried me up the stairs and around the corner. I knocked once and opened the door…to an empty room.  I ran inside and turned looking everywhere, she wasn’t there.

 

“DAD! COME QUICK!” I screamed with all the fear that was thundering through me.  I heard their footsteps as they ran up the stairs and then when they skidded inside the room.

 

“She’s not here Dad! Where did she go?”

 

My father walked over to the bed and picked up the note that was lying there. His face shifted and he snarled.

 

“What does it say Angel?” Giles asked as both of us waited anxiously to hear his answer.

 

“It says, that she doesn’t love me. That she doesn’t want anything to do with me and never wants to see me again.”

 

“What! That’s not true! She couldn’t have written that!” I screamed.

 

“It’s her handwriting,” he said.  He sniffed the air and growled even louder, walking over to the window he peered outside at the ever- darkening sky. 

 

“Let me see Angel.”  Giles took the note and read it. “Yes this is her handwriting. Except something’s not right.  It seems jagged, like she stopped and started writing again. It’s like that throughout the entire note.” He looked up at my father.

 

“That’s because she didn’t know she was writing it.”

 

“What?” I asked at the same time that Giles said, “What do you mean?”

 

He turned around. “I mean that Lucian was here. I can smell him. He took her. Or rather I should say she went with him.”  He walked out and practically ran down the stairs.

 

“I knew it! I knew he had her under some kind of thrall.” I said as I ran after him, followed by Giles.

 

“You mean like Dracula?” Giles asked.

 

“Sort of.  Dracula’s skill is not as potent, his thrall not as deadly. It’s diluted through the line.”

 

“Are you saying that Dracula is a descendent of the Immortal?” Giles asked and I smirked at him. “I thought you knew everything watcher?” 

 

“Connor do shut up.” He said to me, and my mouth snapped closed as my eyes hardened. “You can’t talk to me that way!” I said as I walked closer to him getting in his face.

 

He looked at me the way a father would an unruly child, firm and unfaltering.  “It’s no mystery that you don’t like me and why, frankly I could care less. We have to find Buffy and fast.  Now that he has her he can start his plan.”

 

“Oh and what’s that?” I asked.

 

“To turn her, and ultimately the baby, to evil.”

 

“Well that’s not going to happen.” My father said as he opened the door. “Pack for cold damp weather boys.  We’re going on a little trip.”

 

“Where are you going?” Giles asked.

 

“To my house to grab a few things”

 

“And where exactly are we going Dad?  You don’t even know where he took her.”

 

He smirked at me, “Yes I do.”

 

 

******************

 

 

Once again I found myself on a plane and flying back to Ireland of all places.  My father, who if you remember had been stalking Buffy in Italy for a long time, knew exactly where Lucian took her. He explained that when he first found out about their relationship he put a Wolfram and Hart worker on their tail at all times.  He knew Lucian’s every move when he was in Italy and when he left, which was about once a month.

 

It turns out that Lucian, a/k/a the Immortal, is really, Lord Lucian Seamus McGrady, and was actually a very distant, distant relative of my father. Not his human roots, but his demon roots.  The Immortal was, in fact, the brother of the Master. He was turned at the same time as the Master by the same demon.  His human roots were just as impressive.  His mother was an Italian Duchess and his father an Irish Lord. He controlled land holdings that his family had held for generations both in Ireland and in Italy.  But there was one that held his interest and passion the most. 

 

It was a keep high up on a mountain that looked over a field of green grass and thatched roof houses. Its strong stonewalls were imposing in size and strength. It looked impregnable. The tower of the main keep rose up through the sky, the fog circled it making it appear like it went on forever.  It was dark and dismal.  And the town that sat quietly below it, was small and old, like it was still the fourteen hundreds. I was shocked to see that it was the same town that I had found my father in.

 

“You’ve always known.” I said quietly as I turned to my father who stood at my right, his keen eyes on the castle that stood atop the mountain.

 

“I’ve known about the myth of the Child of Scintillate for a long time. In fact, the Master told me about it. He said that I was the chosen father and that my mate had not been born yet. He also told me about his brother, how they hated each other, each one thinking that he was the destined ruler of all things that were evil, and eventually the entire planet.  He told me that one day, the prophecy would come to pass and that Lucian would try to take it away from me.”

 

“Then why all the bullshit about finding out if it’s true or not?” I asked angrily and he turned to me.

 

“Connor, when I first heard about the myth I was a demon with a heart as black as coal. I didn’t give a shit about some stupid prophecy that hadn’t happened yet. All I cared about was finding my next dinner and fuck. Time went by and well I forgot about it. Then I was cursed and the soul felt nothing but guilt from the destruction the demon had inflicted, not a prophecy. ”

 

He turned to Giles, “It’s the reason the Master sent Darla to me, the reason he wanted me back into the fold of his little family.  He knew Buffy was the Chosen mother.”

 

“It makes sense, but why kill her? Wouldn’t he want to try and turn her like Lucian?”

 

“No. The Master didn’t have the faith of the prophecy that Lucian did.  The Master though it was rubbish. He knew that the Chosen Mother would be a warrior for good. And he never believed that she would be turnable.  He also knew that his brother would stop at nothing to make it come true and that wasn’t acceptable, The Master wanted to rule evil he wasn’t about to let his brother have it.”

 

“So he wanted her dead instead.” Giles said, looking back over at the Castle.

 

“I’m confused, you mean turn her as in making her a vampire?” I asked them and Giles answered. “No not to turn into a vampire. The child is a product of both good and evil, if Buffy had been turned, then she would have just been evil there wouldn’t have been any good in her.”

 

“Wouldn’t that make his job easier?”

 

“No if Buffy was turned into a vampire then the prophecy would never come to pass. He means to seduce her into evil. Show her how wonderful evil can be. Turn her toward their side on her on free will. I suspect he’s been doing it for two years, since he met her.  I’m afraid I don’t know her as well now to know how close she is too falling.”

 

“Longer than that Giles, Dracula was his first attempt. I think he sent him to Sunnydale to try and seduce her.” My Father answered.

 

“Yes, and he almost succeeded.”

 

“She’s not close.” I said staring at both of them willing them to deny it. “She’s strong. She wants this baby. She wants a life with you. She won’t falter. He’ll never get her.” I said what I believed and my father smiled at me, slapping a hand on my shoulder and pulling me into his side.  “I know Connor.”

 

“I wish it was that simple.” Giles said.

 

“Why isn’t it?” I asked.

 

“Because she’s with child now.  She has something to look after, something that you yourself said she wants. She’ll protect that baby with everything in her, and if that means going along with what he wants then I’m afraid she may have no choice.”

 

“No she would never let her baby become evil!”

 

“She may not have a choice Connor. Lucian is strong, very strong. He has a plethora of mind tricks up his sleeve, all of which he knows exactly how to use to get what he wants,” my father said.

 

I looked up at the castle with fear in every part of my being. Fear for her, fear for the unborn soul that she carried in her womb. “We have to save her.”

 

“We will.” My father said.

 

 

******************

 

 

The sun was just rising as my father pushed open the big wooden doors to an ancient keep that was roughly two miles away from Lucian’s.  We walked in and he closed the door just as the sun’s first rays peeked over an early morning cloud. I walked through the main room, my feet crackling and scrunching as I did. I looked down to see hay woven into what looked like locking mats all over the floor of the main hall.  “You keep animals in here Dad?”

 

Giles answered me while my father ignored me, walking toward the back of the keep. “It’s not hay Connor, it’s rushes. It’s a medieval form of carpeting in a way.”

 

We stood there both of us looking at our surroundings and feeling really out of place.  The ceiling was vaulted, I could see the stone floor under the mats, and there was a huge stone fireplace that stood in the middle of the room. It was the biggest damn fireplace I had ever seen. I shivered my arms automatically coming around my waist trying to keep some of my body’s warmth close to me as my eyes stared at the fireplace, wishing that there were warm fiery flames filling it.

 

My father walked back in his arms laden with wood and I breathed a sigh of relief.  He walked over to the fireplace and threw the wood in, then he grabbed some newspapers that were in a wooden bucket next to the fireplace, rolling them up he strategically placed them under the wood.

 

I walked over to him and reaching down picked up one of the newspapers. My eyes bulged when I read the date – 1920. “Does paper this old still burn?” I asked sarcastically and my father smirked at me.

 

Giles meanwhile was still aimlessly walking around; his curious watcher fingers touched everything, from the intricate tapestries that covered the walls, to the sharp gleaming broadswords that hung next to them. His mouth was slightly agape and I could tell that he was in his glory. 

 

“This place is just amazing Angel.  Everything is so…maintained and in perfect condition. If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you owned the keep?”

 

There were a few moments of silence as he stoked the flames that were becoming visible. “A few years after I was made Angelus bought it.” He quietly said.  Giles just harrumphed and continued his exploration of the keep, silently walking about then disappearing into the back.

 

I watched my father closely.  I was learning things about him that I never knew. For example it seemed that he had enough money to keep and maintain two impressive old homes, in two different countries, it made me wonder.

 

“Are there any other homes you own that I should know about Dad?”

 

He was kneeling down in front of the fire, I couldn’t see his face but I knew that his mind was on Buffy when he didn’t answer me right away.

 

“Dad?”  I prodded him again and after a few minutes he finally answered me.

 

“Three.  One in LA, and…the mansion and the apartment…in Sunnydale.”

 

I smirked at his back why was I not surprised. “How do you afford all of that dad? I mean it’s not like you bring home a weekly paycheck.”

 

Isn’t it weird the things that you never think to ask someone that you really don’t know at all?  I mean I never in my life even stopped to consider how my father lived when he didn’t hold a nine to five job like every other poor schmuck in the world. But in the peace and quiet of an old castle it was these minuscule questions that popped into my head.

 

“I was evil Connor, not stupid.” He simply said. “I’ve made a lot of investments over the years that have turned out to be very…profitable.”

 

I nodded my understanding, which he didn’t see because he still stared into the orange flames of the fire.  I shivered as the heat of the flames started to seep into my chilled and tired body. My eyes wondered around the room some more and I couldn’t stop myself from wondering why he would buy this place. I mean I knew my father’s history, I knew when he was made a vampire and by whom, I also knew who was first on the dinner menu. It was no secret to anyone that knew my father the guilt he still carried with him about that, so I found it curious that he wanted to be here at all.

 

“Why?”

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why this place? Why here of all places? I mean this is where it all began for you; I would think that you wouldn’t want anything to do with this place…ever.”

 

He chuckled under his breath then finally turned around and sat on the stone fireplace, looking at me. “You just answered your own question.”

 

“Ah?”

 

He looked around the hall. “Buying this place was the demon’s perverse sense of humor. He liked to come back here once a year, and see the pain and the destruction that he caused on the faces of the villagers. He thought there was no better kill, no better taste than those of kin. He saw it as the place of his birth.”

 

I swallowed because eww that was gross and extremely disconcerting.  “Isn’t that even more of a reason to get rid of it?”

 

He shrugged, “I know it sounds morbid.” He quietly said shaking his head. “You wouldn’t understand.” 

 

“Try me.” He looked up at me and I could see the struggle within him. I knew that something extraordinary happened to him here in this place that was also filled with horrible memories, and I wanted to understand what it was. I just stared back at him, as open and sincerely as I could. He sighed and then finally spoke.

 

 “After I was cursed I couldn’t even step foot in the country let alone this place. I left and went to America. I stayed far away from anything that reminded me of it and the pain that I had caused. When…Buffy…died, I came back.”

 

I’m sure my eyes bulged out of my head because this was news to me. “I thought you went to a monastery?”

 

“I did but I came here first.” He looked down at his hands and I sensed the past that hovered around him. “Her death seemed so cruel; she was everything that was good in this world. She was my reason for doing everything that I was doing.  When they took that from me, I didn’t know what to do anymore. All I wanted was to kill them for taking her away, the hunger to hurt and cause pain was hard to resist, and I couldn’t.”

 

He looked up at me, his eyes unflinchingly hard and cold. “I came here to kill.”

 

I shivered from the deep despair that I read in his eyes. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear the rest.

 

“The first night here I stalked the darkened streets and I waited for some poor sucker to come out of the pub. When he did I grabbed him and dragged him into the darken shadows of the alley.”

 

His eyes closed and I could see his hands clenching at his sides.

 

“I remember holding on to him, feeling his fear and I was…excited by it.  He was an innocent but it didn’t matter to me. I thought that if they could take her away so easily then they didn’t really give a shit about the innocent. So why should I. I was close, so close to sinking my fangs in his pulsating throat. I could already taste his fear as it rolled down my throat and I wanted it. For the first time since I’d been cursed I truly wanted to kill a human being and I would have.”

 

“But you didn’t?” I asked and he shook his head.

 

“What stopped you?” I asked quietly and his eyes opened to look at me. A small smile played around his lips. “Buffy.”

 

“Buffy?”

 

“She came to me that night, as I held that poor man in my grasp, my fangs just grazing his skin, she spoke to me.” His eyes closed once more. “She called my name; I felt her warm hand on my shoulder. And I…”

 

“Freaked out?”

 

His eyes opened and he smiled, “Yeah pretty much. I dropped the man and I ran here. I barred the door and all the windows. When I turned around and faced the fireplace, she was here.” 

 

His eyes looked down at the spot where his feet now were. “She stood right here in this spot. God she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was what I had wanted to see for so long that I couldn’t believe it. I thought she was a demon. I screamed at her to leave me alone to let me be. But she just smiled at me, her eyes were glassy with tears and she spoke softly to me telling me that it was really her.  I thought it was a trick I ran at her screaming at the top of my lungs to go away but I ran right through her.” 

 

Once more his eyes closed and a smile of pure contentment lit his face. It was peaceful and it comforted me.

 

“God Connor. It was the most amazing thing I ever felt in my life. It was her - her essence, her soul - it passed right through me, I felt her touching my soul. I dropped to my knees crying and I could feel her warmth as it circled me. She whispered in my ear that she was okay and that she loved me. She said she was happier than she ever had been, and that she was glad it was over. She said she was tired of the pain, tired of the sacrifices that she always had to make. But mostly, she said she was tired of always having to do it alone, without me. She told me that I had to be strong, that the world needed me. She told me she would always be with me. I felt her lips on mine.” His hand rose to his lips and they slid across them. He probably wasn’t even aware of it, so lost in his memories. “She kissed me and I felt the blinding truth of her words and I felt her love and belief in me. When I opened my eyes she was gone.”

 

His voice was but a whisper when he was done and I felt my own eyes tear by the tale. It was the most I had ever heard my father say at once and I was spellbound.  I felt like my heart was going to burst with joy that he trusted me enough to tell me this story, something that was extremely personal and obviously something that he had never told another person before. His open honesty humbled me.

 

“After that, I stayed here a few more days. Walking around trying to figure everything out. I felt close to her here and I started to really hear the truth of her words and what they meant. I started to remember all the pain and destruction that I caused here and I realized that I could never ever put myself in that position again.  I had to be strong for her because it’s what she wanted and…I would’ve done anything for her.”

 

Taking a deep breath followed by a just as deep sigh, he looked at me. “So I left and I went to the monastery. I stayed there for three months coming to terms with my guilt and anger. Getting stronger both physically and mentally. When I felt that I was as ready as I ever would be, I went back to LA. I came back here every now and then, whenever I thought I was losing myself. It’s a reminder that no matter how lost I feel, no matter how close I feel the darkness surrounding me, that there is no greater darkness then losing her.”

 

He looked away from me and down at his clasped hands as another piece of the complicated puzzle that was my father fell into place. I realized that he knew how close he was to the darkness again and had since the big battle. It was why he was here when I found him, why he watched Buffy in Italy. Even through his anger and jealously he knew that she was his stronghold to the light. He knew that like before she would be his salvation.

 

I knew it took a lot for him to tell me that story and I wanted to make sure that he knew how important it was too me that he had. “Thank you.” My voice hitched with all the love and emotion that I felt for him. It wouldn’t be until later when I would look back at this moment as the beginning of our relationship, the true beginning, and the first time that I could honestly say that I loved my father.

 

He looked up at me, a perplexed look on his face. “For what?”

 

“For letting me in.” I said simply.

 

“Angel are you aware that you have a First Edition Byron in your library?” Giles said amazed as he walked out from the back of the keep.

 

My father smiled at me then stood up to face Giles. Nodding, he started to walk up the stairs. “There are three of them.”

 

Giles looked even more amazed, a blinding smile lit his face and he sounded like a kid in a candy shop. “Truly?”

 

“I’ll be upstairs resting. You two should do the same. Pick a room.  There are blankets and firewood in each room.” He disappeared up the winding stone staircase.

 

Giles turned and walked back to the library, or at least that’s where I assumed he was going.  Either way, he completely ignored me.  I yawned and stretched my aching body then stood up. Taking my father’s advice I made my way upstairs and sought out my new room.

 

 

******************

 

 

She woke up; her eyes opening as her hands automatically sought out her belly and lightly caressed it. A smile appeared on her face and her eyes were aglow with contentment and happiness.  But that knowing look vanished as she looked up at the ceiling. Her face crinkled with confusion as she stared at the unfamiliar design.  Sitting up she looked around the room.  Her eyes took in the dark mahogany furnishings and the plush blue carpeting. The walls were white with dark blue stripes and there were blue velvet drapes that hung alongside the windows touching the floor.  Looking down at the blue velvet bedspread that covered her she was even more bewildered.

 

She sat up and removed the bedspread, her feet touching the carpet, her eyes still perusing the room that she knew she had never been in before. Grabbing the red silk robe that lay on the bed, she stood and put it on covering herself from the slight chill in the room as she walked over to the window and peered outside.

 

She gasped at the sight that greeted her.  Beautiful lush green hills stretched across the landscape as far as the eye could see. There were misty clouds that settled atop the distant mountains and she could just barely make out roofs in the far off distance.  The clouds receded slightly and peering closer she saw a tall tower that loomed in the sky.  It seemed so far away yet strangely so near and she couldn’t look away. 

 

Staring at that tower, she felt disconnected.  It was as if the other part of her was there and not here. Her stomach churned with anxiety and need. Her eyebrow lifted at the peculiar feeling as her hand rested on her belly, rubbing it comfortably, trying to ease the discomfort.  A sudden lone tear rolled down her cheek as she felt something inside of her call out to that tower in the far off distance.  Leaning her forehead against the cool glass her hand rose and pawed at the barrier. “Angel…” She whispered longingly. The clouds rolled back covering the tower with its smoky screen and another tear fell. Her fingers flexed frantically across the glass, nausea filled her as her stomach protested the towers disappearing act.

 

In an instant her anxiety vanished.  Her vision blurred. Her sense of displacement faded and in her mind she saw him. A lone dark figure his black eyes speaking to her, telling her that she belonged to him. 

 

“Come…come to me my sweet.” His voice was deep and seductive. The lure of pleasure awaited her in that voice that left no room to deny, and she could not.

 

She backed away from the window, her facial expression now blank as she walked toward the door and opened it.

 

She walked down the hall her bare feet padding across the carpet.  Her hair was loose hanging down her robe covered back as she continued down the hall. Her face was distant and faraway. The light that normally sparkled in her eyes was hidden behind a veil of murkiness. The irate protests that her stomach still made were not heeded. She heard only his voice.

 

She turned a corner and stood in front of a door. Her hand rose to turn the knob but she stopped, her hand hovering just above the bronze knob.

 

She took a step back, a moment of clarity breaking through the fog. Her hand rose to her face, touching her cheeks she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She was confused. She didn’t know what she was doing here. She had no idea how she had gotten here and she didn’t even know where here was. But she knew that she didn’t want to be here. She knew that something was wrong. She was frightened and she was alone.

 

But she wasn’t alone. 

 

The door opened and a dark figure in black silk stood there staring at her hungrily.  His eyes traveled down her body, briefly lingering on her stomach then back up to her bewildered face. His hand reached out to her as his eyes darkened and drilled into hers. His voice was smooth, cajoling she didn’t detect the deception. “Come my love pleasure awaits us.”

 

She faltered in taking his hand, her eyes speaking of her uncertainty and of the will to defy; yet her hand still rose. She wanted to pull back but she couldn’t move, and she watched silently horrified as it settled in his cold grasp.

 

Unsure green orbs stared into black endless pits and the uncertainty vanished. The fog once more settled behind her eyes blinding her to anything but him and his will.  Her mouth formed a smile. “Yes, pleasure.” She repeated to him as he pulled her inside the room and closed the door.

 

 

******************

 

 

I knew I was dreaming. I could feel my body thrashing on the bed, my feet tangling in the sheets as my hands gripped the sides of the mattress. I could even feel the sweat dripping down my face and neck. It should’ve been enough to wake me but it wasn’t. Something was keeping me tied to her and I couldn’t escape. She was frightened and she was lost, and I felt everything she did. My mind screamed at her not go in that room, to fight him but she couldn’t hear him. And I watched helplessly as she did.

 

“What’s wrong with him Giles?”

 

I could hear my father’s frantic voice, I could feel a hand on my head but I could not move I could not speak.

 

“He’s in the dreamland, a very deep dreamland.”

 

“Why won’t he wake up?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

 

******************

 

She looked around the room and she smiled, it was warm in here.  The door closed, interrupting the serenity of the room, and she jumped turning toward the disruption. The smile disappeared as she gazed at the black figure whose face was never revealed. She took a step back.

 

“Don’t be afraid beloved. It’s only us here.” He said taking a step closer to her.

 

“Wh…where am I?” she asked.

 

He smiled at her, “My ancestral home.”

 

Accepting his answer she nodded then turned toward the window. Walking over she gazed out. “It’s…lovely.”

 

He walked up behind her and closed the drapes. Placing his hands on her shoulders he pulled her back against him. His head lowered and he whispered in her ear. “No my sweet, you are lovely.”

 

Her head tilted to the left at the feel of cool lips on her neck and her eyes closed. She saw him in her mind, deep brown hair nuzzled close to her own. Beautiful chocolate eyes that penetrated deep within her soul, and his full lips as they grazed her neck, making her shiver. Her hand came up and wound around his neck and through his hair, drawing him closer to her.

 

“Would you stay here with me? Forever?” He asked and she smiled. “I would stay with you anywhere.” She whispered back.

 

“The future is ours beloved.  The world will be ours. You, me and the child, we shall be together forever.”

 

Her hand stilled in his hair and her eyes opened. Her hand wandered down to her belly. Her fingers splayed across the expanse of her tight stomach and her voice was wondrous when she spoke. “A child.” She sighed happily, snuggling back against him. “It’s what I’ve always wanted…to have your baby.”

 

He kissed her on the neck. “I know my sweet. And we shall. We will have the most beautiful and perfect child the world has ever seen.” He licked her neck then moved lower to the base of her collarbone. His tongue circled the fresh scar and she shivered with desire. “mmm…Angel…”

 

 

 

******************

 

“NO! NO…not…Angel!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as my body continued to thrash violently. I felt strong arms grasp my arms and legs and then I couldn’t move at all. The whole thing was very strange it was like I was standing in the middle of a black void, to my right was Buffy and Lucian and to my left was my father and Giles.  I could hear what everyone was saying, but I couldn’t participate in either conversation. I was literally trapped in a void.

 

“What’s happening to him Giles?”

 

 “I don’t know damn it!”

“Well think for Christ’s sake! What the fuck is happening?”  I heard the sound of his heavy steps as he began to pace, his voice loud and pissed off.  I wanted to answer him. I wanted to scream at him to go now and save her before it was too late. But I couldn’t. I could do nothing but listen.

 

“Okay. Connor is the Vindex his connection to Buffy lies through the baby. Perhaps the baby is keeping him there, tying him to the dream so he can see what’s happening. Give him the opportunity to break the spell that Lucian has over her.”

 

“It can do that? How can it do that? It’s only been two days since she conceived!” My father’s confusion rivaled my own and I could hear the vexation in Giles’ voice.

 

“Angel, the Child of Scintillate is unlike anything we or anyone else on this planet has ever seen. He or she can do many things. It’s written that the connection between the Child and the Vindex is only overshadowed by the connection to the mother. So yes I believe that is what’s happening. It’s the baby’s way of getting help.”

 

“But how does Connor break it?”

 

“I don’t know, I guess that’s something Connor is going to have to figure out.”

 

 

 

******************

 

 

His hand came around her stomach holding her to him tightly as his other hand caressed her neck then tilted her head further to the side. “So sweet, so…warm and beautiful. I’ve always loved you. It’s only ever been you.” He said to her and she smiled. Sighing contently, her hand gently pushed his head deeper into the crook of her neck.

 

“You’ve gone through so much my love, so much pain and suffering, so many sacrifices.” He whispered.

 

Her eyes watered with the memories. “It’s been so hard.”

 

He kissed her, “I know. It doesn’t have to be any more. I can take that all away. With me by your side you will only ever feel love and devotion. Your cries will not be of pain and death but of passion and love. Your tears will only be tears of joy, not sorrow.  And our child…” his hands spanned her stomach, “our child will be…blessed, blessed with the love of two parents. Blessed with the knowledge that no one will ever hurt him.”

 

“Or her.” She said happily and he smiled at her, “…or her.  I will never leave you again. Together we are strong.”

 

“Apart we are nothing.” She said back to him.

 

“I can show you a world, where pain doesn’t exist. I will give you everything you need, everything you ever wanted. I will take care of you my sweet.  You will be my queen. Would you like that?”

 

“Yes Angel, it’s all I ever wanted.”

 

He smiled, but she did not see the cruel cunning gleam in his eye. “Then relax my love. Close your eyes and just feel.”

 

He lifted her hair and tilted her head to the side, lowering his gleaming fangs to her throat.

 

 

 

******************

 

 

I couldn’t stand to see Buffy in Lucian’s grasp, lost in her own mind and memories.  I knew I had to stop him I couldn’t allow him to bite her but I didn’t know what to do.  So I screamed.

 

“BUFFY WAKE UP!”

 

I watched as her body jerked and her eyes popped open. But Lucian held her tight and whispered to her, “Shhh…just relax Buffy.  Feel me, hear only me.”

 

 

 

******************

 

 

I watched helplessly as her eyes closed once more and her hand settled on her stomach. I felt bile in my throat at what I was witnessing and I started to panic.  I felt helpless and alone. I was driven with the need to do something, anything to snap her out of it, yet nothing came.  I was powerless.

 

“She’s mine boy. You will never have The Child. You will never save her.”

 

My hands clasped over my ears trying desperately to keep his malevolent voice out of my head. But I couldn’t. Cruel mocking laughter surrounded me and I fell to my knees tears streaming down as reality slapped me in the face.

 

The Oracles were wrong, I wasn’t the Vindex, how could I be? The baby wasn’t even born yet and already I failed. I was nothing but a fucked up kid with ideas of grandeur.  There was nothing special about me and there never had been.  I’d been blissfully kidding myself this whole time.  I failed Buffy, I failed my father, I failed everyone. God I hated myself.  All I ever wanted was to succeed at something.  Do something that would make me feel like I was a real person and not a freak. Be someone special. But I wasn’t. I was just a freak. I’d always been a freak. And I always would be.

 

My tears fell rampant and my body heaved with guilt and self-loathing.  My world became darker – bleaker. It felt like the floor just dropped from underneath me as a cold wind blew around me. Crackling laughter echoed around me and I felt myself fall.  I didn’t even try to hold on there was not point any more. Everything was black now.  I could no longer hear my father and Giles talking. I couldn’t make out what was being said between Buffy and Lucian. It was all a blur. I was in a deep pit of vast despair and all I wanted was for it to stop. This had to be it and I only prayed that it would come quick and painless.

 

Yet while I waited for the sharp pain of death to take me, it didn’t. The laughter faded into the distance until I couldn’t hear it anymore. It was replaced with a low buzz that got louder and louder, surrounding me, and I felt a warm light on my face.  I was afraid to open my eyes. Afraid to see what it was that touched me now. Afraid to look into the contemptuous eyes of my nemeses but I felt a gentle push inside of me forcing me to see.

 

Behind my closed eyes, I saw my father in the great hall. I saw Buffy before him cradling his head in her hands, telling him to be strong and that the world needed him. I watched as she whispered to him that everything she ever did was for him. Every sacrifice she ever made, she made with the hope that one day it would be their time. I read the blinding emotion in my father’s eyes, emotions too deep for words. They were emotions that only a soul mate would understand without vocal expression. It was love, a deep soul binding love that crossed over time and space to touch again. It was devotion that never dimmed even in the face of danger and threats.  It was commitment to each other. A vow of allegiance to the heart no matter what obstacles and separation lay between them. It was simply put…faith.

 

Faith carried Buffy and my father through everything they had ever lived through, together and alone.  Faith was the cornerstone of a love so strong that even death couldn’t separate it.  It dawned on me that if they could do it then so could I. I had to have faith, faith in who I was and faith in my own abilities as The Vindex. 

 

My eyes snapped opened the panic was gone. What had, at one time, seemed so foreign to me now felt like my second skin.  I felt a power inside of me grow, the power of self-assurance and confidence. There was no doubt in my mind that I could do this. I wasn’t some stupid kid that didn’t know what was going on. I was The Vindex. I had more power then that asshole Lucian.  It was my destiny to save my sibling and I would succeed.

 

Giles’ words filtered though my head and I smiled, I knew what I had to do. Feeling secure in the knowledge that I would win this battle, I closed my eyes and concentrated on Buffy and the baby.

 

 

******************

 

Buffy opened her eyes just as Lucian was about to sink his fangs in her throat and she pushed him away falling to her knees. “Oh god I’m going to be sick.”

 

Violently her body heaved as she vomited on his expensive plush carpeting and I snickered only to be woken by a wave of my own violent sickness. My eyes opened and I jumped out of bed and on to the floor throwing up.

 

I felt a hand on my back soothingly rubbing it up and down, and when I was through, I sat back on my hunches and looked up at my father. “She thinks he’s you.”

 

My father snarled, his eyes angry as he stared down at me.

 

“Of course, that’s his power over her. He’s using a cloaking spell, the sneaky bastard. Well I have a spell to counter that!” Giles said right before he ran out of the room.

 

My father helped me to my feet and put me on the bed. He sat down next to me waiting for me to tell him what happened.

 

“He almost bit her Dad.”

 

I didn’t need to look to know that he wore the face of the demon.  “Almost?” he snarled.

 

“He didn’t.  She got sick, like me. She threw up all over his carpet.”

 

He growled and it sounded like a pleased growl. “How did you do that Connor?”

 

“I don’t know. I saw everything that you told me, before in the hall, how she came to you. I just kept picturing it and I pushed it through. The baby helped, I think. Somehow the baby knows what Lucian’s doing and I think…I think the baby made her ill, I think that’s what broke the thrall.”

 

“Temporarily.” Giles said walking back into the room with an old dusty book. “Once the physical illness is gone she will be susceptible to it again. We must work quickly. There isn’t much time. Once bitten she will be even closer to him. He will no longer need the spell. She will see him for what and who he is, and then he will be relentless in showing her the good side of evil.”

 

“There’s a good side to evil?” I asked but he didn’t hear me.

 

“We have to move now Angel. This is our chance.”

 

My father didn’t need to hear that twice. He immediately stood up and left the room, followed quickly by Giles.  I jumped up.  My stomach was oddly settled and not flip-flopping around. I grabbed my coat and ran after them. Down the stairs and through the main hall, we turned the corner and entered the library.

 

Giles and I watched as my father grabbed a book on the shelf and pulled it out. The bookcase swung open creaking as it went. Where was I, Wayne Manor?

 

“Grab a weapon,” he quickly said right before he ran down the old, crooked staircase.

 

There was a weapons cabinet to our left. Giles opened it and grabbed a sword. I took the one that was next to it, and yes it was bigger and meaner looking than his. Well I was the Vindex I couldn’t let a mere watcher show me up.

 

Giles quickly followed my father down the rickety staircase. I moved to follow but my curiosity got the better of me and I stopped to look at the book that opened the hidden passageway ‘Dante’s Inferno’. I snorted, “Appropriate”.  Without hesitation I ran inside and down the staircase. Reaching the bottom I skidded to a halt. My eyes widening at the bad ass suped up black Land Rover that sat there. “Nice car.” Of course I wasn’t expecting a reply and I didn’t get one.

 

He hit a switch and the door opened, rolling up and revealing the sun just being covered by a cloud.

 

“Uh Dad, it’s still daylight outside.” 

 

He grunted then tersely replied. “Get in.” 

 

I opened the passenger door and slid inside closing the door, just as Giles closed the back door. “Um Angel do you think this is a good idea? Connor is right, it is still day.”

 

My father closed the door and started the engine. “The glass is necrotempered and I don’t plan on walking through the door. Buckle up.”

 

I looked over at him just as he threw it in drive and his foot slammed down on the gas pedal.  I was pushed back into my seat along with a surprised Giles “Oof!” as we peeled out of the garage and into the daylight.

 

He drove fast, driving over anything that got in his way. He didn’t take the road instead heading over the rocky terrain. Looking out my window, I could just barely make out a trail of tire tracks, which told me he knew the route, very well.

 

I looked over at him. It was weird to see the face of the demon shining in the sun. It was actually pretty scary, scarier than seeing it at nighttime.  I guess because creatures of the night were just that, creatures of the night. They weren’t supposed to be able to walk in the sunlight and to see it was a little unnerving. Yes I’d seen my father standing in the sunlight at Wolfram & Hart, but for some reason, it just seemed more real outside in the world.

 

Turning my head I looked back out the window scowling at the thick fog rolling in behind us. The faster my father drove, the faster the fog moved. Great just what we needed!  “Dad?”

 

His eyes never left the road. “I know damn it!”

 

I found it curious that my father always seemed to know exactly when the hounds were on his trail. Was it only because he was used to it or was it something else? The sinking pit in my stomach told me it was the later, that and the fact that nothing was ever simple when it came to my family.  Unfortunately now was not the time to be inquisitive. I turned in my seat and looked out the back window, “It’s getting closer.”

 

Giles mumbled something about rude demons and then shuffled through his bag. He pulled out a green bottle.  “Open the back window!” He called out as he jumped from the back seat and into the back of the truck – for an old man he sure could move fast - just as the glass slid down and the wind whipped inside the vehicle.

 

Giles leaned out of the window and shouted into the fog, “I command you back to hell dogs!  Back to your demon masters! “ He threw the bottle into the fog. It landed on a rock breaking open and a green mist lifted up and circled the fog.  Suddenly, the ground began to shake and the truck rattled, it felt as if the earth was opening up behind us. My eyes squeezed shut and my hands covered my ears as I tried to block out the high pitch screech that emanated from the fog. God it was painful. Like nails on a chalkboard, it vibrated down my spine causing the hair on my body to stand up in shock.  Then just as quickly as it began it stopped. The truck stopped shaking and the squeal of incensed pain ceased. When I opened my eyes, the fog was gone.

 

I sat back in my seat, as my father put the window back up and Giles settled into his seat. “That should hold them off, at least until we can get Buffy and get out.” Giles said and my father snorted his agreement.

 

“Handy potion.”  I noted.

 

“Yes well I knew it would come in handy at some point.”

 

I bet you did Giles.  Silently I cursed myself for not seeing it before, the other alternative motive for Giles coming to Italy.  God I could really be blind, a fault I would have to correct in the future. Giles and my father had met in London before coming here. I’m sure my father told him something about the predicament he was in. Which meant there was more to it than what my father told me.  Which was not a good sign. I wonder if Buffy knew, well I’ll ask her later, but for now I’ll just prod the watcher.

 

“I have a feeling that my father will be needing more of that in the future.” I said, keenly watching him for any sign of something that would tell me more.

 

“No doubt. But unfortunately, this is not the remedy to Angel’s bounty problem.”

 

“What is?” I asked but he didn’t answer me. He just looked at me deadpanned then turned away.  I smirked at him, my admiration once more growing for Giles. He was a tough cookie. And he was as good at being tightlipped as my father was.

 

I turned my attention to my father who kept his eyes on the road as he drove recklessly over the terrain and I felt a wave of fear. I didn’t want to lose him and the fear that I was going to, and soon, scared the hell out of me. I just discovered my father, I was just getting to know him, and I realized that was something I wanted very much. I wanted him in my life; I wanted to learn from him and I wanted to share with him the things that I was learning. I couldn’t lose him now. And the more my heart filled with love and fear, the more my anger grew at their silence. They were like two old southern women keeping secrets. It pissed me off and I snapped at them! “You have to tell me some time you know?”

 

No one answered me.

 

Okay, piss me off more why don’t you!  I could understand that maybe this was not the best time to talk about it. And I knew that the only thing my father was thinking about was Buffy, but still, it was just one more secret. One more secret in a long line of secrets that I wanted stopped. Secrets had almost destroyed my family and I wasn’t going to let that happen again. For now I’d let it slide.  He could run from the Hounds but he wasn’t going to be able to run from me.

 

My attention was brought back to now as we hit a large bump and my ass left the seat. I held on as I looked out the front window. My father wasn’t kidding when he said he wouldn’t be going through the door. Well at least, on our feet.  Nearing Lucian’s castle, he rammed the wrought iron gate that closed off the driveway.  He sped up the driveway and right toward the double wooden door.

 

“Um Dad?” I screeched just as we hit them. The truck slammed into the heavy wood breaking the doors and splintering wood everywhere. We continued to drive right through the great hall, finally stopping as we slammed into a wall. 

 

We all jumped out of the Land Rover weapons in hand, except my father whose bare knuckles were clenching furiously at his side. We stood in the great hall surrounded by splintered wood and rock, scanning the room for any sign of Buffy or Lucian. At another moment, when the adrenaline wasn’t pumping through my veins, I would look back and laugh because I’m sure we looked like the male versions of Charlie’s Angels but in the moment there was nothing to laugh about. We were ready. Ready to battle the demon that held Buffy captive. The woman we all loved.

 

Suddenly Angel growled and ran up the stairs, Giles and I quickly followed him. Reaching the top he stopped, his nose twitching and inhaling, trying to get their scent. But I knew where we were. I knew this hallway and I knew where Buffy was. I pushed past him and ran down the hall to the door in my dream.  I didn’t stop to think what I would do once inside, I just kicked the door open.

 

At the sound of the door crashing against the wall, they spun around from the window.  Buffy stood with her back against Lucian’s chest; he had one hand around her waist holding her close to him. The other was tangled in her hair tilting her head to the side. His gleaming fangs poised to strike.

 

“NO!” I screamed as I ran toward them. Lucian’s hand that was in Buffy’s hair motioned toward me and I flew back into the wall. My sword softly clanking on the rug as it landed beside me.  Shaking my head I looked up to see Giles running toward them, only to be sent flying back into the wall and landing right next to me.

 

I tried to get up but Giles stopped me. “No this is between them.”  I didn’t like hearing that, but looking over at my father, I guess Giles was right.  He stood there like an avenging angel. He was dressed all in black, including the black leather pants that I didn’t notice earlier, and the sounds emanating from his mouth were as potent as the fire yellow glow of his eyes. His fists clenched into his palms and I saw a tiny drop of blood drip down from his hand.  He was the personification of a righteous pissed off lover here to collect his mate. And I had enough sense to know that getting in the middle of that was not a smart thing to do.

 

“You’ll never have her Lucian, she’s mine.”

 

Buffy stayed exactly where she was, I sensed her confusion, and she nestled closer into Lucian’s chest. Lucian took that as a good sign and smiled smugly at my father, “Really…do you think so Angelus?”  His hand rose and he caressed her face. “Are you his, my love?” He whispered to her in that deep voice and as she stared at my father her eyes bulging with fear, she nodded her head no.

 

“Buffy wake up!” I screamed at her, trying desperately to awaken her from his thrall and to see my father standing in front of her and not behind her.

 

“I…I don’t know him.” She quietly said her eyes never faltering from my father’s demon face.

 

I watched as my father took a deep breath, his body visibly relaxing as the demon disappeared. He took a step closer to her. When he spoke his voice was soft and full of all the love that I knew existed in his soul for her.

 

“Ioniun. Look at me. Look at my face. It’s me baby, it’s Angel.” 

 

She shook her head, “No.” She quietly said.

 

“You know it’s me. Look deep within your heart Buffy. He’s tricking you.” He took another step closer.

 

She nestled back against Lucian her hand digging into his arm that was wrapped around her waist. “No you are tricking me!  My Angel’s with me.” 

 

Lucian smiled confidently at my father so sure of his power over Buffy. But his arrogance only blinded him to the true nature of my father and Buffy’s relationship. And how deep it truly ran.

 

My father smiled warmly at Buffy. “You’re right, I’m always with you baby.  Even death can’t separate us.  Remember?”

 

Her eyes were glazed as she watched him take another step closer. Lucian growled angrily and I could see his arm tightening around her stomach. I saw her wince and I went to move but Giles once again stopped me. “No Connor.”

 

“But the baby.” I protested as I looked at him but he just shook his head no.

                                                                                                          

As I looked back at my father, I couldn’t understand why he didn’t just take Buffy away from Lucian. But sensing the fear and confusion in her eyes as if it were my own, I understood. She was in a delicate position. Her mind was drugged with illusions. She thought Angel was behind her. If he were to rush over there and take her away, she might just freak out and hurt herself or the baby.  He had to take it slowly and remind her of them. Remind her of something that only they knew about, something sacred to them both.

 

“Death?” She whispered as she stared into his eyes.

 

He smiled at her, “That’s right. Remember?”

 

Her voice hitched as her free hand rose up to her mouth. “I…I killed you. I sent you to hell.” She cried, her eyes tearing.

 

I could tell Lucian sensed her breaking away from him and he snarled angrily yelling at my father, “SHUT UP!” But my father ignored him; all of his attention and energy was on Buffy.

 

“Shhh…baby its okay you had no choice, it wasn’t your fault. Do you remember what happened after that baby?” He took another step closer.

 

Her eyes became slightly clearer as she stared back at him. “I…I ran away.”

 

“That’s right you did. Where did you go Ioniun?” He took another step and Lucian growled again backing up and pressing himself against the window.

 

“L.A.”

 

He smiled at her, “That’s right you did and I followed you, didn’t I?”

 

A small smile appeared on her lips as another tear fell from her eyes. She shook her head and I could see her hand loosen from Lucian’s arms. “Yes, you…you found me.”  There was wonderment in her voice like she still couldn’t believe that had happened.

 

One more step and my father was right in front of her. He nodded his head at her, a smile on his lips. “If I was blind I’d find you.” He said quietly and her voice hitched as a torrent of tears fell from her eyes. “Angel?”

 

The fog that had clouded her green eyes dissipated and she stared back at my father completely coherent. “Angel.”  It sounded like a lover’s caress and her hand rose to stroke his cheek, but she suddenly gasped in pain as Lucian’s grip tightened around her waist. “NO!”  He roared his disapproval and his hand came out and he punched my father in the face, forcing him back a step.  “SHE’S MINE!  THE BABY IS MINE!”

 

My father snarled at him but it was Buffy that answered. She stomped her foot down on top of Lucian’s then threw her head back into his nose. He bellowed with pain as he released her and she flew into Angel’s arms.

 

“Oh god Buffy!”  “Ange!” They said in unison. When they pulled apart, my father’s hands lovingly circled her stomach as she continued to touch and caress his face. “The baby?”

 

“He’s okay Angel.” 

 

“He?” he smirked at her and she smiled back, “or she.”

 

I smiled as I watched them when a gleam of silver caught my eye. I looked just in time to see Lucian with a sword in his hand. He face was twisted with rage as he pulled his arm back, his eyes on Buffy’s back.

 

“Buffy look out!” I ran at him my own face distorted with anger. Pushing Buffy and my father aside I threw my body at Lucian just as his sword came down for the final blow. I crashed into him and he wrapped his arms around me, whispering in my ear just before we flew out the window. “We’ll meet again Vindex.”

 

“CONNOR!”

 

It only seemed like seconds to me, a brief moment of pure silence and peace, right before my eyes opened and I took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest. I looked up to see two figures standing over me; I raised my hand to block the sun out of my eyes revealing the faces of Buffy and Giles.

 

“Wha…what happened?”

 

“You took a dive out the window.” Buffy said. “Give me your hand.” I put my hand in hers and she helped me up. I glanced down at the red blood that drenched my shirt and the gaping hole that was there. “What happened?”

 

She looked at me, her head tilting to the side and then she answered me. “You died. And now you’re back.” She smiled. “See it wasn’t so bad, right?”

 

Ah? “What wasn’t?”

 

“Dying.”

 

I couldn’t grasp what the hell she was talking about, and I suddenly felt like I was in my father’s shoes. “Dying?”

 

She rolled her eyes at me, “Well gees Connor that’s what usually happens when you get gutted like a fish.” 

 

It all came back to me then, me running at Lucian, his sword skewering me like a shish kabob and then us flying out the window. I looked around the front lawn, “Where did he go?”

 

“He disappeared right before you dove out the window.” Giles answered.

 

I turned to Giles in disbelieve. “What? He’s not dust?”

 

Giles actually smiled at me. “Sorry to disappoint you but no. I told you Lucian is very old and capable of many tricks.” He turned and headed toward the door. “But don’t worry, you’ll get another chance, he’ll be back.”  He disappeared inside and I stood there still a bit dumbfounded as to what exactly happened.

 

I turned to find Buffy staring at me quizzically. She had this look of a concerned mother and a happy teenager that had something really cool to share with her best friend.  Of course I fell into it, because I was still a little baffled by the whole thing but I felt completely normal. Well as normal as I could feel.

 

“So that’s what it’s like ah?” I said as I poked my finger threw the gaping hole in my shirt.

 

Buffy laughed, “That’s what it’s like. You sure you’re okay?”

 

“Well besides being a little puzzled, yeah I’m okay.”

 

“Yeah it’s like that at first strange yet normal.” She shrugged, “But hey, pretty cool ah?”

 

I smiled at her, “Yeah actually it was.”

 

“BUFFY! CONNOR!” We both jumped as my father bellowed from the darkened doorway. I couldn’t help but cringe with hesitation. “He sounds mad.”

 

Buffy smiled, “That’s not his mad bellow Connor, that’s his concerned bellow. Believe me the mad roar is much more…deafening.”

 

“Oh, okay well that makes me feel better.”

 

Grabbing my hand she started walking toward the house pulling me along. “Come on let’s get you inside before your father has a coronary. Oh wait, he can’t can he?”

 

She smiled and we snickered at my father’s expense.

 

“I heard that!”

 

 

******************

 

It had been exactly one hour and thirty-eight minutes since I died and I was still trying to figure the whole thing out. You would think that someone who knew that they were immortal would have come to grips with the actual dying aspect of it by now, but I hadn’t.

 

It’s not that I was freaked out by it or that I felt different, at least physically, because I didn’t.  The whole thing was just so surreal and fantastic that it was hard to accept.  I guess because dying and then being resurrected was living proof of what my life had become and what was to come.  Now I wasn’t complaining in the least. I was happier now than I ever had been.

 

I felt a newfound closeness with the father that I’d never known. Something that deep down inside I always wanted but was too stubborn to ever admit.  Because to admit that would mean that I had finally come to terms with what and who I was.  And until this little adventure began, I never had. 

 

But now, as I sit in the overgrown garden in the back of my father’s castle in Ireland, I realize that I liked who I was.  It didn’t matter that my parents were two nocturnal creatures, in fact, that was a good thing.  It made me special.  There was no one else in the world like me - I was an original – one of a kind - and that I liked.

 

The fact that I never knew Darla didn’t bother me either and I had one person to thank for that – Buffy.  Thinking of how much she’d become my surrogate mom put a smile on my face.  She was wonderful. She was everything a kid could ask for in a mom and I was lucky to have her in my life. We all were lucky, especially my father.

 

When I look at them together, the love is so blinding that it almost hurts my eyes.  It reassures me that no matter what happens in life, if you are lucky enough to find that one person, then everything will work out in the end.  And that comforted me.  It gave me hope that maybe one day, I would find that special someone. Another aspect of my life that I had never once considered was missing - a significant other.  But I had plenty of time to think about that.

 

The sky darkened as night settled in quietly and the shadows reminded me of death. Buffy was right.  It was strange but not at the same time. It was like mentally I knew that this was not something everyone went through, that it was something different and special. But then I didn’t feel any different.  It was like my body and my mind were at odds with each other. And I think that’s where the weirdness came from.  I guess it would take time and a couple more deaths to really get used to it, if I ever did.

 

What I do know is that dying was…peaceful.  Those few short seconds of blankness were the most harmonious seconds in my life.  It was like I felt nothing and thought of nothing. All the hang-ups and issues that I carried with me everyday didn’t exist – I didn’t exist.  But then in a blink of an eye everything returned to me.  The coldness of reentering the world, the shock to my body as I breathed air into my lungs, the stimulus of feeling your blood pumping through your veins – something I had never in my life felt before – was awesome.

 

While it was a heady experience for me, and not necessarily a bad thing, the flip side of that was that I could easily see how it could be extremely fearsome for someone in a lesser state of mind. Or someone that had no idea it was even going to happen. Someone like Buffy.  I don’t know how she could have handled that with no forewarning of what was to come.  It was just another example of how strong she was. 

 

I got the feeling that I wasn’t alone anymore and I turned toward the patio doors. Buffy stood there leaning against the door studying me with a knowing look on her face.

 

“What?”

 

She smiled, “Brooding?”

 

I shrugged and she chuckled, “Like father like son.” She walked over to me and sat down next to me. “So, how are you really?”

 

“I’m good.”

 

She nodded, “Have you figured everything out yet?”

 

“Not in the least.” She laughed then bumped me with her shoulder.

 

“Have you?” I asked her.

 

 “Not in the least.” We smiled at each other like idiots until her face crinkled with discomfort.

 

“How are you feeling?” I asked her.

 

“Like my stomach is on a roller coaster ride without the rest of me.” She said as her hand automatically started to rub her belly. She had such a look on her face. There was something in her eyes now that wasn’t there the first time I met her. It was the look of a woman who had everything she ever wanted.

 

“Thank you Connor.” She said quietly as I looked back into her eyes that were now misty.

 

“For what?”

 

She took my hand in hers, “For coming into my life.  You are an incredibly special person and I just want you to know that. “ Her eyes became fierce and she squeezed my hand harder. “Never doubt that Connor. You are not a freak.”

 

My eyes bulged with her words and when my voice was hitched when I spoke. “How did…”

 

“How did I know? It’s how I felt when I first found out that I was the Slayer.  Plus before at Lucian’s I heard you.”

 

“You did?”

 

She nodded, “It was weird. I could hear your inner thoughts, I knew you were there but I couldn’t acknowledge it. It was like a dream almost. But that doesn’t matter.  You saved the baby and me, Connor - you did.  If it wasn’t for you Lucian would have bitten me and god knows what would have happened then.”

 

I looked down at our clasped hands feeling a little embarrassed. “I only did what I was supposed to do.”

 

“No you didn’t. You didn’t know what to do so you went with your instincts and that’s what warriors do. They keep on fighting regardless of how scared they are. That’s what you are, a Warrior.”

 

I bowed my head blushing as I did. I wasn’t used to receiving such praise and it made me a little uncomfortable.

 

“Connor when we first met do you know what my first thought was about you?”

 

I looked up at her, “No.”

 

“My first thought was ‘wow this kid has absolutely no idea how powerful he is.’”

 

“Really?”

 

She chuckled at the perplexed look on my face. “Yup. It’s why I didn’t throw you out on your ass.” She said warmly, smirking at me and I chuckled. “That’s what I thought you were going to do.”

 

“I wanted to. But, my instincts told me not to. See I knew the second I saw you standing across the street leaning against that light pole that you were someone that was going to change my life forever. Of course I was scared out of my mind because usually when my life changes it’s not for the best. But I just knew that was not the case with you.”

 

“Well I’m glad you took a chance on me.” I said to her and she smiled. “Me too.”

 

She looked up at the stars, her face now solemn. Something was troubling her and I’d known her long enough to know that it had something to do with my father. “How are things between you and dad?”

 

Was I being nosey? I don’t think so. I worked hard to get these two back together and I didn’t know if that part of my journey was over or not but I didn’t care. I wanted to make sure that they never lost each other again.

 

She shrugged, “Things are…okay.” I sensed what she wasn’t saying, that things were still strained between them. I guess that was understandable considering everything that they had gone through together and alone. All the anger and resentments that attach themselves to you like a leech don’t just go away with a kiss and hug. Plus I had a feeling that she wasn’t blind to my father’s situation, and she knew as well I, that he and that sneaky watcher were keeping something from us.

 

“Do you think he’ll tell us?”

 

She looked back at me the fierceness back in her steady gaze. “No. But it doesn’t matter. I have other ways of finding out.”

 

I couldn’t help but smirk at the sneaky look in her eye. She stood up then pulling me to my feet taking both of my hands in hers. “Connor I know I’m not your real mom and I don’t want to take her place. I just want you to know that I feel like your mom. To me, when I look at you, I see me. And although you are not of my flesh and blood, in my heart you are mine. I just want you to know that I love you as deeply as I love the baby that’s growing inside of me.”

 

I looked away from the emotion I read in her eyes and looked down at our clasped hands. Taking my hand she opened my fist and placed something cool into it, then she closed my hand around it. “I want you to have this.  Your father gave this too me the first night we met. It’s the second most cherished item I own. I’m giving it to you as a reminder that I cherish you just as much and that no matter what I will always believe in you.”  She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek her hands lovingly cupping my face. “I’m proud of you Connor and I’m thankful that you are part of my family.”  She kissed me again and then quietly walked away.

 

I opened my hand and looked down at the plain yet beautiful sterling silver cross that lay in my palm.  It was the most beloved gift I had ever received from anyone and I would treasure it forever. I vowed that I would do anything I had to do to always remain true in her eyes. To always be someone that she could be proud of.

 

I looked over to the doorway to see Buffy in the arms of my father. They spoke to each other quietly. I could see the smile on my father’s face. A smile that was pure and warm.  They kissed softly, lingering on each other’s lips before pulling away. My father caressed her cheek and I could see his lips moving. “I love you” I didn’t need to read Buffy’s lips to hear her answer.  Stepping out of his embrace, she walked into the house her hand grazing his shoulder as she left.

 

I could see his battle to draw her back into his arms. He didn’t want to let her go, ever.  He looked up at me, clearing his throat and trying with all his might to wipe away the emotion that he knew he was showing. I smiled at him cockily and he glowered at me as he stood in front of me.

 

I stood there still smiling, my heart wide open to him, and my curiosity speaking without me thinking. “I wish I could’ve seen you when you first met her.” I said.

 

He didn’t look at me; instead he looked down at the claddagh ring on his finger, his finger tracing it lovingly.  “You just did.” He said quietly.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Every time I see her it’s like the first time.”

 

I nodded my understanding. I guess it was like that when you were really in love with someone. I looked down at my hand and the cross that laid there, the significance of it meaning so much more to me now.

 

His gaze followed my own and he folded my hands around the cross then looked up at me earnestly. “Keep it safe.”

 

The way he said it told me he wasn’t just talking about the jewelry. He was thinking about the future and how he might night always be here. He was putting his faith in me to protect the family and I accepted it with pride. I looked back at him, my gaze unwavering. “Always.”

 

Opening my palm I lifted the chain and put it around my neck tucking it into my shirt and keeping it close to my heart, where it belonged. Where it would always remain.

 

He nodded then released my hands and stuffing his own in his pockets. “Connor I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for the way we began.  For the way your life started. I never wanted you to get hurt I only ever wanted the best for you.”

 

“I know Dad.”

 

“And I want you to know that out of everything I have achieved in this life, anything good that I ever did, I’m most proud of you. And I…I love you.”

 

I don’t know what reaction he expected from me but I was so emotional at the moment that I didn’t care what he wanted. I blasted him with the biggest smile my face had ever made then I crushed myself to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest. Instantaneously his arms fiercely closed around me and we squeezed each other tightly. “I love you too Dad.”

 

“Um…excuse me Angel?” Giles cleared his throat and we pulled apart smiling at each other.

 

“We really need to discuss…some…things.” Giles said. My father nodded and then ruffled my hair, chuckling when I scowled at him. 

 

“You know I hate that don’t you?”

 

He smirked. “Why do you think I do it?” He continued to chuckle as he walked inside, softly closing the door behind him.

 

Yes sir things were good, for now at least. I had no idea what the future held for my family but I didn’t care.  I also knew that there were a lot of unanswered questions specifically about my father. But I felt confident that Buffy would put an end to that mystery soon enough.  I knew in my heart that no matter what happened next we would battle it together and we would succeed.

 

I took a step to go inside when I felt a chill come over me. I stopped my eyes peering into the darkness as the wind blew softly around me, rustling the trees. 

 

“I’ll be ready for you next time. You better make sure you’re ready for me.” I softly said into the wind. I knew he was there listening, watching just like he always would be.  But now I knew that I would always win the battle. I had so much to fight for and I wouldn’t lose any of it.

 

“Connor come inside your food’s getting cold.” Buffy called out from the doorway.

 

Lucian was forgotten as my stomach protested to the very idea of Buffy cooking.  I must have made some sort of unpleasant facial expression because she looked at me crossly. “Don’t worry I didn’t cook.” She grumbled before turning and disappearing inside the house.

 

I smiled, my stomach rumbling hungrily and happily as I walked inside. 

 

“Angel will you stop it! I’m not a baby!” I heard Buffy yell.

 

“No but you are carrying one and you are not going patrolling tonight!” My father answered her.

 

“What do you think the vampires are just going to go away now that I’m pregnant!” She yelled back and I smiled closing the door behind me.

 

Normal. What was normal? 

 

Well there was no rhythm or reason as to what was normal. Normal was basically whatever was normal to you.  Everyone had his or her own sense of normalcy. And whereas some people might look at my family and think that we were a bunch of freaks, I was secure with the knowledge that we were as normal as anyone could be.

 

 

The End…for now